


Dustland Fairytale

by Inkfire



Series: Narcissa Black series [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-02
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-17 15:05:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkfire/pseuds/Inkfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Narcissa Black grows up, leaves paradise, and still lives her life as a princess in ever-moving kingdoms. A story of Narcissa's life from the end of childhood until her loss of a sister.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When You Were Young

**Author's Note:**

> This was written last year for a NaNoWriMo-inspired challenge, set by on The Dark Lord's Most Faithful Forum on fanfiction.net. Both the fic and this chapter are named after The Killers' songs. Actually, the chapter titles are probably going to be lots of Killers songs... ^^
> 
> NaNoWriMo-inspired challenge
> 
> 1\. This is due on the 6th of December (all of your work must be finished at this time and i believe this is the right date, if not let the lovely mods fix that!).
> 
> 2\. This entry must be 20,000 words. (5,000 words per week for you goalsetters)
> 
> 3\. Have fun!
> 
> You can do this all in a oneshot or (the most likely route) a multi-chapter fanfiction. Also, remember you CAN NOT submit something you have already written or are in the midst of writing.

"For heaven's sake be quiet, girls! I should hope you will act more well-mannered and ladylike this afternoon, unless you are blessed with no higher ambition in life than dishonour the Family by behaving like common banshees!"

Druella Black took a deep breath, her clear blue eyes gleaming with discontentment. Her daughters Bellatrix and Andromeda snickered quietly, but they also did straighten up and regain a bit of composure – though the improvement was regrettably lessened by their superior scowls.

Narcissa Black released a slight, sigh-like breath as well, her little hand raising automatically to brush a straying strand of blonde hair back behind her ear. For a second she made eye contact with her mother, and satisfaction coloured Druella's keen gaze. Then she was strict and business-like again, straight-backed and legs crossed at the ankles.

"Very well," she spoke. "As you are well aware, what the three of you will be attending this afternoon is nothing short of a society event. Though they don't come anywhere close to the Noble House of Black in age and wealth alike, the Malfoy family has turned out to become quite influential indeed. This gathering has been labelled a friendly occasion destined to allow young Lucius Malfoy to become more closely acquainted to the young gentlemen and ladies he shall find himself surrounded with as he is sorted into Slytherin House the next month, and with whom he will spend the majority of his school days. It is also, in fact, a tremendous occasion for the Malfoys to show their only son and Heir into well-bred society, put their newly renovated manor on display, impress the lesser families by their ways and lifestyle, and begin shaping possible associations in the future. This being clear, your father and myself fully expect the three of you to live up to your family name by flawless behaviour and an attitude which, though, evidently, polite, will not leave the slightest doubt in respect of the fact that you do belong to the highest of all breeds, and shall not prove to be overawed by _any_ excessive show of power. Do I make myself clear?"

Druella paused, her gaze imperiously sweeping from daughter to daughter, surveying and judging. Bellatrix withheld a yawn, not without merit, her attention span having visibly veered, erred and then faded into nothingness midway through her mother's admittedly imposing speech. In her defence, she did not slump. In Druella's, she bit back the roar of wrath the mere presence of her eldest offspring perpetually seemed to rouse from her, and moved on to Andromeda, whose expression, incredulous, mocking and all in all thoroughly lacking the proper conviction and concern, did nothing to soothe the mother's nerves. Next was Narcissa; her mere presence was a blessing for the subsistence, or at the very least the good shape, of a few pieces of furniture that adorned the room – and whose destruction would actually have provided endless glee as well as entertainment to the rebellious elders, thus proving to be counter-productive as well as rash and very un-ladylike. Narcissa, Druella pondered, was a blessing, and that was the end of it. The fair-faced, delicate, innocent and perfectly proper ten-year-old gave her a small, soothing smile, and she decided that one flawless daughter was quite enough – the others were only in need of some taming.

Some quick taming, even.

"Bellatrix," she said quite dryly, "I needn't remind you that your first ball is but one year away. You certainly shouldn't disregard a perfectly worthy occasion of establishing ties with male individuals, as I hear from Mrs Nott that you appear to be quite lacking in this area."

"Mrs Nott is hardly the best referee when it comes to my prospects, Mother," Bellatrix immediately shot back, "I don't believe I should have to shoulder the blame for her son being dull beyond belief."

"Bellatrix!" Druella exclaimed, just as Andromeda was smoothly adding, "but Mrs Nott is surely not to be blamed either. Her second eldest son is actually quite interesting. Bad luck with sharing out the genes, that is all."

"Accidents happen."

"You would be the living proof for that..."

" _Girls!_ "

Druella had actually shrieked, and her daughters fell silent. Narcissa looked up with wide eyes, alarmed. The mother shut her eyes and folded her hands very tightly in her lap, silently counting in her head. One, two, three slaughtered daughters bleeding all over the carpet... No. Her eyelids snapped back up and she glared at her oh so precious offspring with pursed lips.

"Mother," Narcissa utterly shyly, "what are the Malfoys like, actually?"

"Arrogant, nouveau-riche blond people you need to make a good impression on. That is all you need to know."

Narcissa gasped, Andromeda jumped, and Bellatrix turned so sharply it was a wonder she didn't seriously hurt her neck. Druella only blinked, but she felt something cold, like a twist or an icy rush, in her chest. "I think your father summed it up well, if a bit shortly, perhaps," she spoke. "He knows Abraxas Malfoy well."

"Too well. I could elaborate, not that I would, but we are running late."

"It isn't quite four yet, my dear..."

"Yes, I know. Fashionably late. But actually, I need to drop by the Ministry, and your daughters and yourself need to make an entrance. Therefore, getting ready might be a good idea."

"Aren't you coming with us?" Bellatrix interjected, twisting around in her armchair to face her father.

"Oh, I am, but perhaps I will be slightly... late. The Malfoys already know me. It is with our women that we must stand out today." Cygnus waved her off, turning back towards the door already. "Mind your posture, Bellatrix."

Druella sighed and stood, smoothing her dress carefully. "Very well. Bellatrix, I thought I told you to tie your hair back. Floo powder is no excuse for a dishevelled appearance. Andromeda, Narcissa, do hurry up, please. We must be off, as your father very well put."

The girls stood in a well-dressed, straight-backed grouping, and Narcissa let a small smile grace her lips at the presence of her sisters, not too close, but linked and united with her, all the same. Druella surveyed the three of them and nodded once in approval before swiftly closing the distance, summoning the powder with a casual flick of her wand. The door softly clicked after their father and Bella reached out, picking up a tiny handful of the silvery substance. Her mother made a small noise with her tongue, and extended her wand. A ribbon flew out and wound itself tightly around the girl's rebellious curls. She gritted her teeth, Andromeda smirked and Narcissa crossed her fingers behind her back. Perfection was in sight.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************

"Why don't we leave those lovely girls and boys to get acquainted?" suggested a wrinkled lady whose name Narcissa hadn't quite caught right. "I am quite sure that with Hector, Ares and Bellatrix, they will be chaperoned enough."

Druella absolutely didn't look quite sure of anything of the sort, but Harmonia Greengrass had a firm hold on her arm, demanding attention, and so she was reluctantly led away, much to Narcissa's delight. The young girl had had to kiss countless withered cheeks, curtsey about a thousand times, and have her lovely hairdo ruffled more than she cared to remember. It was about time, she deemed, to leave the ancient people, who she had displayed lots of respect towards, and the clusters of sweet-scented ladies who loved her anyway, to their business. Or rather, have _them_ leave the young to _their_ business. Smiling to herself, Narcissa whirled on her heel, her gaze embracing the whole room. Neither Hector Nott nor Ares Greengrass gave off the impression that they were about to chaperone anyone: they were whispering in a corner, eyeing another group of boys with distaste. It wasn't even worth trying to think the words "Bellatrix" and "responsibility" in the same sentence, and indeed her older sister was sending glares in random directions, and visibly doing all she could to keep a firm grip on Meda, who looked very much like she wanted to go and talk to the younger Nott boy, whatever his name was. However, said boy was hovering in the periphery of yet another group, an expression of inexpressible discomfort painted all over his features. In fact, she noted with dismay, everybody seemed to cling to the people they knew, be it from school or family, and no one had seemed to realize yet that she was evidently the loveliest being in the room. How disheartening. Cissy would have considered it below herself to go and cling to her sisters' sleeves as though she had needed them for anything so simple as to get acquainted to a few people she was either equal or superior to anyway, but that didn't mean she was feeling like going to mingle with another group – it made her look like she was desperate to fit in, and this wouldn't do. A Black was never desperate, and it wasn't about fitting in; it was about standing out. However, the only person she knew, beside her cousin Evan who was an odd individual and didn't even like her, was actually the third Nott child, Alcyone, an unpleasant being, blessed with plain features, a long nose and a haughty attitude that neither her name nor her looks could possibly justify.

Now, now. Narcissa took a deep, slow breath, straightened up slightly, and coolly gazed around the room one more time, assessing the groups and the possibilities they offered without losing her head, as a Black should. The elders were out of the question. No matter how special and worthy of attention she was, it would still not do to flaunt it by openly overruling common courtesy and hierarchy. Most of those boys and girls were at Hogwarts already, sorted, as they all should, into Slytherin, they owned wands and had started learning how to practise magic. Real, actual magic, not what she had read in some boring books... Therefore, going to them immediately was out of the question. It would have been out of line, and Narcissa Black didn't step out of line. She dutifully followed the line, and, occasionally, drew it herself. Next... next were the unsorted, of course. Those who were her age, one year older – or younger. She immediately dismissed younger – if she got acquainted with somebody, it would be somebody potentially influential, somebody it would be useful and, perhaps, pleasant to know. The only younger child was the Goyle boy anyway, and he was sitting on the _floor_ , looking every bit like the perfect picture of consanguinity's results. Repressing a shudder with difficulty, Narcissa dismissed his blank look from her mind – really, it couldn't have been worse, except maybe if he had _drooled_ – and endeavoured to focus on business. Business meant the girls her age, as it would hardly have been proper to walk over to the boys and start talking, just like that, on her own. And so business meant Alcyone, and those surrounding her.

Cissy walked forward, smiling pleasantly. In the privacy of her own mind, she went over every detail: not looking too nervous, but not overconfident either – neither weak nor superior, but just like she belonged. Belonged in the group already, belonged among them, into high society. Like she did.

Lightly, smoothly, she stepped through the invisible line that marked the boundaries of the small grouping, smiling like an angel they should welcome as it was called for.

"Hi, Narcissa," Alcyone drawled in her unpleasant, nasal voice.

"Alcyone," Narcissa replied gracefully, "hello, girls. My name is Narcissa Black."

The others were staring with something somberly suspicious lurking in the depth of their pupils, yet they responded appropriately, whispering their own names and nodding their heads lightly to her. None of them was extremely pretty – well, not perfectly pretty, just plainly pleasant to the eye, and even this notion remained vague. Old, familiar names could have drawn Cissy's attention, but she took it for granted that everyone standing in this room would have flawless ancestry. Really, the idea of her mother, Mrs Malfoy, or even Harmonia Greengrass, allowing their precious offspring anywhere close to a person of dubious parentage, was nothing if not ludicrous.

Silence was dangerously stretching on, and Cissy knew she had to push things a little, though really, they should have been the ones to welcome her and make her feel comfortable. She was a Black, and thus basically the guest of honour in their tiny gathering. Anyway.

"So lovely to meet you all," she said sweetly, "no doubt we'll have more than enough time to get properly acquainted, both before and after we join our rightful house and begin with our schooling. Have you seen Lucius Malfoy yet by the way? I was told he was to come and meet us very shortly."

"I have only seen Mrs Malfoy," chirped a girl Cissy remembered to be a Yaxley, "and I have to admit I was quite distracted even then. Those gardens are _marvellous!_ "

"Aren't they?" Narcissa agreed pleasantly, though she mentally rolled her eyes at the obvious, nearly wide-mouthed display of amazement. "Very tasteful choice."

"They're _stunning_ ," another one exclaimed in a very nearly offended tone, "I am quite sure those are extremely rare specimens."

"Surely," Narcissa murmured politely, as a third person exclaimed: "And the _furniture!_ "

 _Who has brought them up?_ she thought with disbelief, while Alcyone interjected: "Oh, quite fancy, I'll give you that. Daddy has quite impressive pieces as well, though."

"Quite valuable," the Yaxley girl approved, nodding her head fiercely.

There was a move on the corner of Narcissa's eyesight then, catching her attention. She glanced at her sisters, who were going calmly towards the door, their heads held high as though their behaviour was absolutely normal and not even slightly questionable. Then they were out, and something tremendous happened to Cissy: she glanced at the prattling little geese she was surrounded with, and recklessness suddenly seemed extremely appealing to her.

"If you'll excuse me," she said smoothly, "I must be off. My family has business with the Malfoys, I will be back in a moment."

And before anyone had a chance to react, she curtseyed rapidly, twirled on her heel and hurried out, gloating in silence and hoping to catch up with her siblings, quite stunned at her own behaviour.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************

The corridor was long and bordered by many doors, and Cissy hesitated for a second, before deciding that her sisters _would_ have eloped outside – it was both safest, and most logical given their personalities and Bella's restlessness. Keeping her chin high under the penetrating stares of countless white-blond-haired paintings, the young girl made her way through the lavish manor towards the entrance hall and its marble steps that opened into the gardens. Her sisters were nowhere to be seen, she noted with displeasure, intimidated both by her grand surroundings and the obvious fact that she had no right to wander here alone.

Dunderheaded though they had been, the girls had had a point: those flowers were like nothing she had ever seen. Not that the Black estate's gardens weren't a most delightful sight, but every family of her acquaintance had opted for a more classical, original yet not overly flamboyant look. The Malfoys were different – they were risqué, and their money was flaunted everywhere, not merely implied by an even luxury. Narcissa took a few steps forward, focusing on a small patch of blooming lilies of stunning pink and red colours, delicately freckled, among which a few pure white flowers were standing out. Their petals looked soft and smooth, their colour so vivid they gave off a feeling of true warmth, nearly akin to human skin – and she reached a careful hand, enthralled by their prettiness.

"You'd better not do that."

A small cry of shock escaped Cissy's lips, and she whirled around, her heart hammering. The person who had called out to her stood on the front steps, glaring down at her with narrowed eyes. He was taller than she, and it was obvious, from his white-blond hair, that she was actually facing the young heir of the household. Despite her growing panic at having gotten caught somewhere she should not have been, and by such an imperious and haughty-looking individual at that, Narcissa could not help but feel secretly delighted that she was being the very first to meet Lucius Malfoy. Special, as she should be.

"What are you doing here?" the boy went on, still towering above her from his perch on the steps. "The guests were supposed to be waiting in the bay-windowed room."

"There was but very little entertainment to be found there." Narcissa very much wanted to add that she had followed her sisters out, yet she was sure that this would make her look not only bad-mannered, but also quite clueless. Independence and self-confidence were a better strategy if she wanted to duck her way out of this with her head high, and a stronger voice would have helped quite a bit indeed in achieving that much, while she was at it. "I found it quite rude of the young host not to be tending to his _guests_ – " she stressed the word, like he had, with slight disdain – "and so I decided it was best to go looking."

"Really." He stared her down. "I wouldn't have sorted you as the overly adventurous kind."

There she couldn't keep her cheeks from flushing a deep shade of crimson. "Hasty judgment is hardly recommended, Mr Malfoy," she chastised, keeping her voice firm and steady with some effort. "And 'adventurous' is quite a vague notion indeed, I would say."

"How adventurous would you be then, if I were to compare you to, say, the two older girls who left the room right before you did?"

Narcissa started, caught off guard. "Ladies are not to be compared, Monsieur," she said in an offended tone, praying that he wouldn't call her bluff, "they are all quite special, as you must be aware. More complex to assess than flowers and furniture."

Lucius Malfoy eyed her pensively.

"You do sound quite special indeed, Miss Black," he said softly, stepping down towards her, "but that doesn't make you allowed to pick my mother's flowers. Those might not be complex, but they are valuable."

"I wasn't about to pick them!" Narcissa stammered, horrified. "I would _not_ be so ill-mannered!"

"Lying is disgraceful. Stargazer lilies are admittedly quite appealing, and you had your hand reached out to them."

"They were looking so soft," Narcissa confessed in a haste, lethally embarrassed. "Almost like human skin. I only wanted to check."

Lucius raised his eyebrows. "That is quite a bizarre thing to ponder about. The consistency of flowers."

"I would rather say 'unusual'," she responded in a small voice, trying to keep sounding proud. All of a sudden something dawned on her. "How did you know my name?"

He had a little smirk. "How did you know mine?"

"I am at your house," she pointed out.

"And I am well aware of the identity of my guests," he shot back. "As word choice goes, shall we deem you 'noticeable'?"

Narcissa turned pink at what sounded very much like flattery, in an odd way.

"But let us step back into propriety's boundaries," he suddenly said. "My name is Lucius Malfoy. Very pleased to meet you."

"I am Narcissa Black," she retorted, "and the pleasure is all mine."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Should we get back inside then? As you very well put, I have guests to attend to, and I have a feeling the rightful place for you is not exactly outdoors either."

She couldn't help but smile brilliantly at him. "Very true," she breathed, "let us go."

He gestured for her to go forward, and so she did, dancing up the front steps before disappearing into the shadows of the hallway. With a hint of a smile, she heard him follow behind her.


	2. Takes Me Nowhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the second chapter =)
> 
> This one is specifically dedicated to two of my friends over on fanfiction.net: Lady Eleanor Boleyn, for psychicness – her OCs being named Cara and Cressie, mine Cara and Cassie – and TuesdayNovember, for checking up on my Sorting Hat song, and being a queen, on the whole.
> 
> Chapter title is from the song by The Offspring.

Blue eyes, pale skin, fair hair.

Narcissa hadn't taken her eyes off the mirror for about ten minutes when her bedroom door slammed unpleasantly, making her jump.

From the threshold, her older sister stared at her with raised eyebrows.

"Are you ready soon, Cissy?" Meda asked, stepping closer and flicking her hair back.

Narcissa swallowed. "I think I've packed everything."

"Then why is your trunk still open?" Andromeda inquired.

Cissy abruptly whirled around, gripping her sister's sleeve. "I'm scared, I'm so scared," she confessed under her breath. "I don't want to leave. I don't want to go! I don't want to!" Her voice was getting higher and higher, edging dangerously close to hystery.

"Cissy, calm down!" Andromeda exclaimed, alarmed. "What brought this on? You've been pestering us about Hogwarts for ages. Last year you nearly begged me to sneak you in my trunk."

"I'm just scared." Narcissa's lips were trembling. "You and Bella have your own friends, and I really hate Alcyone Nott, and what if I'm not in Slytherin? What if – "

"Cissy! You're more of a Slytherin than all of us put together," Meda interrupted. "If the hat plays coy with you, yell at it and you'll be fine. It nearly put me in Ravenclaw. You have to learn to stand up for yourself sometime."

"I'm a lady..."

"Ladies must stand up for themselves too. Look at Mother, does she look like she'd let anyone walk over her? And God knows she's not my number one role model, but here you go. A hat is a good place to start, really."

"I'm not a baby, Meda."

"Very good, then prove it. Close this trunk – heavens, looks like you've shoved more than enough clothes in there – and rush downstairs. We're running late."

"No, we're not," countered Cissy, glancing at her watch.

Andromeda gritted her teeth. "Trust me, we are. Mother and Father are in a hurry."

As Cissy pushed her door open a few minutes later, she was greeted by the sound of distant yelling. She froze, stunned, until Andromeda just pushed past her and disappeared around the corner. Then she got a grip on herself and rushed downstairs, shocked.

Bella's voice was cut in by her mother's and Meda's before starting all over again, her words barely understandable, and then there was a slapping sound. Cissy winced, and started slowly down the staircase, peering at the scene now. Meda was standing behind Bellatrix on the steps, gripping her shoulders, but she glanced back upon hearing Cissy's approach. Her eyes were wide, and she bit her lip before quickly looking away. Their mother stood at the foot of the stairs, seemingly quite shocked as well. And Bella was trembling, her back to Narcissa, quiet now. Cissy continued her way down slowly, step after step, willing everything to come back to normal, if she could only take long enough. Her mother had never slapped any of them before. She would never – it was rash, unladylike, a gesture worthy of a Muggle. Muggles hit one another. Not wizards. Druella swallowed convulsively, then took two slow steps back, away from her daughters. Narcissa was almost at Andromeda's level by now.

"We are in a hurry," their mother spoke, her voice odd, a bit hoarse-sounding. "It's time for breakfast." She spun on her heel and strode towards the dining room, not glancing back to see whether she was being followed.

Bellatrix leapt down the two last steps, shrugging Meda's grasp off. She turned slowly, white-faced with an angry red weal on her right cheek. Cissy clung to the banister and Andromeda sighed, the sound heavy and weary, reverberating through the sisters' chests.

"We should go," she muttered.

"What happened?" asked Cissy in a small voice.

Bellatrix turned her back. "Father went to work."

Cissy's gasp came one second later, as Bella was walking away, rigid, towards the dining room.

"He's not coming to see me off?"

Meda half-turned and gripped her younger sister's sleeve.

"It doesn't mean anything."

"He isn't even _coming!_ "

"Father has had troubles lately, Cissy. He's distracted." Meda's eyes were gleaming. "Anyway, we're together. Is that right? We're together."

"Girls!" From the dining room, without a stunned, foreign face on it, Druella's voice sounded a little more like normal. Cissy could still sense its edge, its brittleness. Bellatrix had disappeared inside. Meda tugged her forward slightly.

"It's your day, Cissy. It's still your day. It's going to be right... perfect."

Numbly, she followed.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The wind bit at Narcissa's cheeks, uncomfortably, unseasonably cold. She gritted her teeth and pushed her trolley on, wincing a little as Muggles hurried past her, nearly close enough to touch. Her mother was striding in front of them, her shoulders stiff. Suddenly she half-turned, nodding, and Bellatrix passed her by, disappearing into their platform in a second. Andromeda followed. Narcissa hurried after them, her stomach leaping unpleasantly as she crossed the archway. For the first time, as far back as her memory could stretch, being alone with her mother felt uneasy.

Platform 9 ¾ was so crowded Cissy was immediately got claustrophobic. She rushed towards her sisters, her mother appearing at her back. They all turned to face Druella; the woman straightened up, taking a deep breath.

"All right," she said. "Today you are all going to board this train. I shall next see you at Christmas. I will expect letters to keep both your father and myself updated on your grades, your progresses and any event you may feel like sharing. Bellatrix, I needn't remind you that you will take your OWLs at the end of this year. Study hard and do us all proud. Andromeda, third year is also a very important part of your schooling, make sure to do well in your options. And Narcissa, this is your first year away from home. Make worthy friends in the noble house of Salazar Slytherin, learn thoroughly and keep away from unpleasant company. Remember who you are at all times, girls, and act accordingly – dignified. It is your responsibility to live up to the name of Black. Now, I shall keep you no more."

Reaching out, she embraced Bellatrix first, in a brief, one-armed hug, then it was Andromeda's turn. When the time came for her, Narcissa still savoured the sweet perfume of her mother, the softness of her cloak, as precious things she was going to leave behind for a long time. Druella pressed a small kiss to her brow, and then she was off, and the young girl's siblings were turning away. Cissy hurried after them.

Her trunk was unbelievably heavy, all the more since she had to carry her owl's cage as well, and Narcissa wondered ill-temperedly why they didn't have the right to bring their own house-elves to Hogwarts. Really, it would have been so convenient. Meda half-turned towards her with a mocking smile, hoisting her own truck onto the train. Cissy scoffed.

They made their way along the corridor, glancing into compartments as they passed. Cissy found herself getting edgy. She knew that she should not remain with her sisters; she should go and make ties with the pureblooded future Slytherins of her year. If she wanted power, she ought to be known as Narcissa Black from the start, not just as the third Black sister. She attempted to brace herself, but she was feeling cold and numb.

"Let's get ourselves a compartment," Bella was saying.

"Together?" Meda inquired.

"To tuck those damn trunks away somewhere, at least," Bellatrix sighed.

Cissy's dainty fingers were strongly agreeing with the idea, as was her whole body, actually. She nodded frantically, and Bella chuckled, leading the way.

The compartments were mostly empty, as many people were still down on the platform, saying their goodbyes to their families. The sisters heaved their trunks up on two seats in a corner. Then Cissy collapsed on one herself, sighing with fatigue and stretching her bloodless fingers. Above her blond head, Bella and Meda were seemingly having a glaring contest. She didn't look up. When needed, they would make it vocal.

"I don't see why," Bella growled.

Meda snorted. "Oh yes you do. You very well know why we shouldn't just stick together, Bella."

"Everybody respects us already."

"And what about Cissy?"

Narcissa glanced up as Bella was looking away. "Cissy's a big girl. She'll be the queen of her year before we both know it," she countered.

"Yes, and she needs to start now."

Bella groaned. "Okay, okay. Let's go find our own friends! Personally, I'll check up on mine. Are you taking Cissy along?"

Meda poked her. "Two minutes ago you were pretending to protect her best interests, and now you're foisting her on me already, you selfish, hypocritical nuisance."

"Stop talking about me as if I wasn't there," Cissy spoke.

"Bye, Cissy," Bella said, waving. "Blame miss Goody-Two-Shoes here when we leave you all alone to weep your pretty eyes raw."

"Bella!"

The door slammed after her.

"Our sister is a horrendous, twisted little thing," Andromeda commented, shaking her head. "No wonder I love her the best." Winking at Cissy, she offered her a hand. "Need some help?"

Making faces at her sibling and ignoring the extended limb, Narcissa stood.

"Lovely. If only Mother could see you, little darling," Andromeda snickered. "Let's go. I'll show you around to my friends, and we can find the first-year future Slytherins' den on the way."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Paul. How are you? ...very well, thanks... Oh yes, here's my little sister, Narcissa. Elizabeth, hang on, I've got something to tell you!"

Cissy smiled and nodded at her sibling's friends, feeling quite surprised, though she was careful to keep it inconspicuous. Andromeda, always the quiet, snarky one in their little group of three, appeared to be very friendly with a tremendous amount of people. All of them seemed nice enough, she supposed, although they showed cocked eyebrows and a hint of something wry in their gazes while greeting her, making her worry that Meda had told them about her already, and not quite always in a pleasant way. If the fifth and third-years were picturing her as a spoiled little crybaby, her dense excuses for siblings would pay... As she was pondering this irksome train of thought, something caught Narcissa's eye – a shimmer, white-gold and familiar – and as she leaned slightly forward, she could see Lucius Malfoy, conversing with two other boys, from the slightly-ajar door of his compartment.

Unthinkingly, she stepped forward, and she had almost let herself in when she felt someone suddenly pulling her back.

"What do you think you're doing, Cissy? These are not first-years, and you don't know them," Bella murmured in her ear.

"But I know Lucius." Narcissa attempted to pull free. "I'm just going to say hello."

"Don't be ridiculous." Bella hauled her back like a little doll to where Meda was standing with her friends, staring questioningly at them.

Bella gestured for her to follow them, but she shook her head, raising an incredulous eyebrow. After a second's hesitation, Bellatrix just passed her by, heading back in the direction of their compartment with Cissy in tow. She was looking rather somber, and so Narcissa didn't make any further comments. She only dropped into her seat again while Bella was going straight to the window, watching the countryside flash by. Two seconds later, an irate-looking Andromeda stepped through the door Bellatrix had left open.

"What was that?" she snapped. "We had an agreement! We were supposed to go on our own, all three of us! You can't just fly in, grab a hold of Cissy and expect me to follow like a sweet little puppet, just because you so wish!"

"An agreement," Bella snorted. "Listen to yourself, Meda. It's not the end of the world."

"I was with my friends. And Cissy hadn't even met any first-years yet."

"She'll meet them all tonight. You've seen your boring friends, besides. You have all year to catch up now."

"Not having any friends of your own doesn't give you the right to bash mine," Meda growled.

Bella's lips tightened into an angry line, but she did not comment.

Meda sighed, running a weary hand through her hair and sitting down defeatedly. "Well, I suppose we'll be staying here, since Her Highness Bellatrix so decided. Just so you know, I asked Cara to pop by at some point. Her little sister is a first year, too, and pretty clever. Good company for Cissy."

"Oh please," Bella groaned, "not the Burkes. It's a family of shopkeepers, for God's sake. And they're so full of themselves. If Cissy's head gets any bigger under their influence, I swear I'll use a sword to deflate it."

"Shut up," Meda shot back. "They're not full of themselves, they're subtle. There's a difference, though it's certainly too tenuous for you to understand. And they're my _friends_."

"Well, I'll have you know that Cissy was about to fly into Lucius Malfoy's compartment to say hello, while you were off with your lovely friends."

Andromeda stared at Cissy, completely side-tracked. "What? _No!_ "

"He knows me," Cissy muttered in response. "It was a perfectly proper approach, thank you ever so much for your concern."

"Oh please. He may very well have been _such_ a gentleman at the manor, but it's not like he's going to make friends with a first-year," Bella sighed.

"Does our wee Cissy have a crush?" Meda teased.

Narcissa reddened. " _No!_ I just think he is... well. He is delightful company, and high-class, right? That's just it."

"Well, he's the only person she knows yet," Andromeda told Bellatrix. "That's pretty harmless."

"I suppose, though we'll keep an eye on our perfect little princess, just in case."

"Too right. We wouldn't be fulfilling our jobs of obnoxious big sisters otherwise."

"Will. You. Two. Stop. Talking. About. Me. Like. I'm. Not. Even. _There?_ " growled Cissy through her teeth.

Bella looked mockingly shocked. "That was scary, Cissy."

"Extremely." Meda yawned. "Shall we pass time filling Scary-Blonde in about the castle?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Cissy swatted them both, feeling rather powerless.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The compartment door opened, and the house of cards Bella had been carefully building exploded.

"You broke my focus!" she complained, and Meda hit her.

"Quiet, you. Come in, girls!" she called to the newcomers.

Cissy, who had been leaning against the window watching her sisters play Exploding Snap, and then Bella indulge in architectural challenges, straightened up and peeked at the newcomers, interested. Some company at last.

"So, you've heard about my sisters, Bellatrix and Narcissa," Meda told them. "Cissy, this is my friend, Carmilla Burke, and her sister Cassandra."

"Hello," Narcissa chirped, "lovely to meet you."

"Likewise," Carmilla replied, Cassandra echoing, "it's a pleasure."

"Go ahead and sit," Andromeda said happily.

The sisters obliged. Meda immediately steered Carmilla into a conversation, and Cassandra turned expectantly towards Narcissa, as Bella was again busying herself with her cards, looking rather grim.

"We'll be Slytherin housemates, then?" the girl inquired.

"Surely," Cissy agreed. "I'm sure it's going to be delightful."

"I don't see why not. Do you already know some of our likely dormmates?"

"Well, there would be Alcyone Nott. I don't see any other girl yet. Among the boys there are Virgil Greengrass, Cadmus Selwyn and Adrian Travers, but I don't really know them well. I've only met them briefly."

"I see." Cassandra nodded solemnly. "The names are familiar."

There was a beat of silence before she went on, more animated all of a sudden: "My sister told me lots of thrilling stories about our house and its past. About our ghost, especially. Have you heard about this?"

"The Bloody Baron." Cissy nodded, repressing a shudder. "My sisters told me about him, yes. He doesn't seem... much pleasant company, I've heard."

Cassandra laughed. "Certainly not! But did you hear of the way he became so... horrifying?"

Cissy hesitated. "I don't think I have."

"Well, once upon a time he is said to have been a perfectly proper young gentleman. But he was in love with a lady, whom made him suffer ever so – until one day, he killed her."

Cissy gasped. "He did not!"

"Oh yes, he did. Then he became so mad with grief that he proceeded to kill himself. But he did a very messy job, and his soul was never at peace. This is why he still roams the castle where he first met her, bearing his eternal heartbreak and spreading awe and horror all around."

"This is a dreadful story!"

"Isn't it? My grandfather once heard it from the Baron himself. He has ways to get what he wants out of people." Cassandra seemed to hesitate for a second, before she concluded with a defiant look: "This speaks a lot about madness and passionate love, don't you think?"

Bellatrix snorted and Narcissa jumped: she had almost forgotten her sisters.

"It speaks of foolishness. An awful waste, really. Nonsense."

Cassandra shrugged her shoulders. "Does love make sense?"

Bellatrix laughed. "One might _choose_ to give sense to their lives." She seemed to be having wicked pleasure deprecating the younger girl's story, and Andromeda sent her a warning glance, after which she quietened.

"Love," Narcissa whispered, troubled.

"Oh yes." Cassandra was smiling an odd smile. "Doesn't always come with a prince." She glanced outside. "A story for the twilight... fitting enough. Perhaps we should change. Did I upset you, my dear?"

"No, no, not at all. You did not." But Cissy wasn't quite sure she liked Cassandra.

The girl smiled brightly. "Very good."

"Cassie's right. Let us change!" Andromeda stood, reaching for their trunks, and Cissy did the same.

Outside the sky was darkening, its clarity promising a starlit night.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was surrounded by chattering students, hurrying and pushing past her in a ruckus beyond belief, yet Narcissa oddly felt like she was suspended in a bubble of silence, caught in the very intensity of the moment. Happy cries and anxious whispers brushed against her without getting acknowledgement, as Bellatrix and Andromeda brushed her arm, her cheek as they passed, before disappearing in the darkness of the masses. There was nothing tangible left but the shadow of Cassandra Burke at her right, also wordless and solemn. They walked towards the castle in an awestruck procession, the long line of the uncertain first-years, they glided across black waters in tiny boats and then they had made it.

Countless shocked gasps resounded within the ranks at the grand appearance of the place, and Narcissa slightly frowned, reminding herself that all of these poorly-mannered, impressionable people were surely not Mudbloods, not that _many_ – they didn't quite have her standing, and that was all. Dutifully, she followed the lead of Professor Slughorn – a man she had heard about quite a little before – and smugly listened to his little speech about houses. Then they were left alone.

"Quite histrionic, I must say," Cassandra whispered to her.

"Quite," Narcissa breathed. She stiffened slightly upon hearing a tiny boy, a ways away from her, wondering aloud about the means of Sorting. _Really._ Cassandra snickered quietly, and Cissy took a little step back. Fortunately, Slughorn entered soon to lead them into the Great Hall.

The night, as it had been to be expected, was bright and starlit, and Narcissa focused on the skies above as the whole Hall stared at the new students – she found Bellatrix, on the right shoulder of the Hunter, and Andromeda, V-shaped and slightly crooked, but didn't look for faces yet. It was like being an actress on stage, or so she had been told – the students were a silent, nameless entity, spread before her, watching her every move. All she had to do was be perfect. Lucius Malfoy would be among them, it didn't matter yet – until she had joined the other side, the watchful audience of the already chosen. Yes, until then... she was the queen, and they the rebellious crowd.

There was actually room for some improvement of the ever so crucial show, she thought.

Salazar, this hat was ancient.

She had been warned, of course, and so she wasn't startled as said antiquity broke into _song_...

_I was sewn many years ago_

_In times of chivalry,_

_Where many worthy wizards lived_

_Who still haunt our memory._

_Those mighty sorcerers as good friends_

_Shared ambitions and dreams;_

_And from their sheer thirst for knowledge_

_Was born this greatest scheme._

_Gryffindor said: "Our brave people_

_Require some teachers_

_So that value equals courage_

_Within young sorcerers."_

_Hufflepuff said: "Our world and ways_

_Are nowadays unfair;_

_I want to bring schooling to all,_

_Unbalance I shan't bear!"_

_Ravenclaw said: "I deem science_

_As mankind's greatest goal;_

_We must spread it and make it grow_

_Letting it feed our soul. "_

_And Slytherin said, "I see children_

_Forget their fathers' deed;_

_I want to restore true heirlooms_

_And gain fame as a meed."_

_Together they built this castle_

_And together they taught;_

_Their names today are family_

_Without which we are naught._

_Gryffindor welcomes the heroes,_

_Slytherin the cunning;_

_Ravenclaws are wise and witty,_

_Hufflepuffs hard-working._

_And before me you wait today_

_To know where you belong;_

_Just trust me with your pretty heads,_

_For I am never wrong!_

_How vulgar,_ Narcissa thought haughtily.

It was about time for the names to be called, and Slughorn winked at the students, unrolling his list.

"Alden, Lucy!" he called first.

Narcissa leaned forward ever so slightly as a plain, freckled, insignificant individual was sent to Ravenclaw.

"Black, Narcissa!"

And here it was. Her moment.

Cissy strode out of the ranks with her head held high and the tiniest smirk on her lips, looking straight ahead. Slughorn smiled as he placed the hat on her blond head, and she sat, gracefully.

 _Another Black, then?_ a voice chuckled in her mind. _Let us see, little one. Um, where shall we..._

 _Don't you dare "little one" me,_ she thought furiously, remembering Meda's words.

 _Oh, no need to get so aggressive,_ the hat snickered. _And no need to be worried either. You certainly belong nowhere but in... SLYTHERIN!_

Then came the applause, and Cissy stood, praying that her shaky legs would support her – _thank you, thank you_ – before strutting towards her rightful place. First Slytherin of her year, she was greeted with a long ovation, and slid between her two sisters, enjoying the glory. Unwilling to lose her head, she didn't look for Lucius quite yet – but turned towards her siblings.

"How long?" was the first thing she said.

Andromeda grinned. "That was quick, Cissy. Quicker than me, quicker than _Bella_."

"Welcome home," Bella echoed, not even raising to Meda's teasing tone. "Well done, little snake."

Then the whole table burst into applause again, and as Cissy turned, it was Cassandra they were all cheering for, making her way towards them, pink-cheeked and shiny-eyed, but controlled and proud, smirking without a word. She went to sit next to Carmilla, on Andromeda's other side, and smiled at Cissy, who smiled back.

She then leaned back in her seat, and hoped, without much conviction, for failure and scandal as she eyed Alcyone Nott, on the line she had just left.

 _She_ was where she belonged, first, and entirely.


	3. All The Pretty Faces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the third chapter. Hope you're enjoying the ride so far =)
> 
> Entitled after The Killers' song.

"This is so exciting!" Narcissa gushed, breezing into the room, cheeks flushed and eyes shining.

"Cissy," Bella snapped, "either you shut up, or I'm going to curse you, this is my last warning. If only we were stocked with Polyjuice Potion there wouldn't be a problem. But we are not, so give me a _break_."

"You don't want to be sent away, Cissy, do you?" Meda chimed in. "Get yourself under control."

"I can't believe this," Narcissa retorted, collapsing on a couch and eyeing her sisters with a mix of glee and frustration.

"Oh, believe me, I can't either," Bella growled.

"One of us – _one of us_ – is going to attend her first ball!" Narcissa continued as though she hadn't noticed the interruption, her voice reaching a dramatic peak.

"You needed something new to be jealous of, Cissy," Meda said absent-mindedly. "Satisfaction makes you unbearable."

"So the world plotted for your demise, and decided that on the very year of your arrival at Hogwarts, I should make my grand entrance into society." Bella huffed.

"My poor little blond thing," Andromeda added.

Bella swatted her. "Feel sorry for _me_. I got dolled up – I hate getting dolled up – and those shoes are going to kill me all evening. And this is going to be _boring_."

"You will dance," Meda said smoothly.

"Wow. That just made me feel loads better."

"You will meet older boys, boys who wouldn't have talked to you before."

"And who will talk to me now, because I have reached the age of maturation and it's open season for trying to marry Bella Black." Bellatrix snorted. "What a blast."

"But look at yourself!" Cissy exclaimed. "You look beautiful!"

And that she did. Bella's gown was long, off the shoulder and close-fitting, of a stunning emerald colour. She was to wear a matching shawl of a slightly darker shade, elbow-length silver gloves, high heels – her messy curls had been straightened and swept up into an elegant, sophisticated-looking bun. She was allowed to wear _make-up_. She looked nothing short of dashing, her natural beauty, usually lessened by the woes of adolescence, heightened and purified. Narcissa would have killed to be in her place, to be wearing her clothes, to go to the Christmas ball and meet smooth-spoken young men and _dance_. But unfortunately, even murder wouldn't do the trick. Four years left to wait. It would have made her groan, if that hadn't been highly unladylike. Four years were an eternity... an _eternity_...

Meda reached out and poked her arm, making her jump. Taking into account her sisters' mocking laughter, Narcissa guessed she must have spaced out for a minute and missed a few witty comebacks. She couldn't bring herself to care.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Earth to Cissy? I have to leave, so you're not going to have to stare at me with unrestricted envy anymore. Does that relieve you? Even slightly?"

"No."

"You ungrateful little brat."

"Language, manners, posture," Andromeda sang. "Good evening, Bella dearest. Dance your head off, don't kill anyone, think of us, and have fun."

"Shut up."

"We love you!"

"I said shut up!"

Meda burst into laughter, and pressed a kiss to her scowling sister's cheek. "Go."

Bella bowed theatrically in Cissy's direction and then strode to the door, her heels clicking against the pannelled flooring. Narcissa buried her head in her hands and pretended to be made of stone. Stone was good – impassive. It was difficult to make a fool of oneself when composed of stone.

"Come on," Meda called cheerfully. "It can't be that bad. We get a girls' night, and Bella's going to meet an avalanche of wrinkled people."

"And beautiful, influential, delightful people," Cissy moaned.

"Hush. Everybody knows the old cows love to gather at balls, try to push their great-grandchildren into early engagements and ruin everybody's evening."

Cissy groaned. "Just let me die already."

"Two minutes ago you were literally about to explode with excitement!"

"Two minutes ago I was being carried away by aesthetics-induced selflessness. Then I remembered that life is not fair."

Meda snorted. "I'm going to wander downstairs and enjoy having the mansion all to myself, since you're being a spoilsport... and a dying one at that."

"Please go ahead."

The door slammed, and Cissy straightened up, blinking in shock. She had actually left her alone.

Without an audience.

Life wasn't fair.

When Meda glided again into the room, a tray floating gracefully behind her, Cissy had settled on Bellatrix's bed, sitting with her knees drawn up against her chest, and was busy glaring a hole into the opposite wall. Extremely determined as she was to give her sister the silent treatment, the young girl quickly found herself bored beyond words, and conveniently realized that it was possible to sulk while speaking.

"You could have asked a house-elf to bring this."

"I quite like the feeling of complete solitude. We are the only mistresses of the house, you know."

"Yes, and we happen to have servants."

Meda shrugged. "I was feeling like taking care of myself. I know it's beyond your understanding, dearie." With a flick of her wand, the tray docilely floated down to Bella's bedside table. She then climbed atop the sheets, pushing Cissy aside to make room.

"Besides, you don't have the right to practise magic. And don't push me, fatty."

"Ah, but I do have my reckless days," responded Meda, smirking. "Come on, who is going to find out?"

Cissy pondered. "I could tell."

"Who would care?"

The youngest endeavoured to scowl even harder. It proved quite difficult.

Meda burst out laughing. "Goodness. You, me, and Bella... We couldn't be more different, really."

"And that is quite fortunate," Narcissa said stiffly. "There has to be a decent girl in the lot."

Meda gasped mockingly. "Don't sound so much like Mother, please, darling. It gives me nightmares."

Cissy sighed and collapsed against the pillows, defeated. "What is there on that tray you brought, anyway?"

Meda chuckled. "Ah, now she's interested." She stretched towards the bedside table, pointing with her wand. "Here, sister mine, we have some nice hot tea... some chocolate in the smaller pot... and a few cakes I sneaked from the kitchens. Freezy won't tell. She doesn't fancy having to iron her ears yet one more time."

Cissy pouted. "Oh, that's right. Bella goes out and parties, and we get to sit at home eating the evening away."

Meda poured two cups of tea, humming under her breath. "Someone is bitter and acrimonious, it brings wrinkles and damages the complexion."

Cissy gasped despite herself. "What? Who told you this?"

"Made it up." Andromeda pushed a cup into her hands. "Drink and loosen up, or I'll get myself a nice book and leave you to your sorrows."

Narcissa huffed. "Why are you under the assumption that I would be bothered?"

She did take a small sip though, the warm liquid sliding smoothly, soothingly down her throat and filling her insides. The sisters were quiet for a minute, drinking slowly and staring into space, lost in thought – or, for Cissy, a peaceful lack of thought.

"You're so much like Mother, really," Andromeda eventually whispered, sounding slightly troubled now as she held her cup tightly between her palms.

Narcissa drained her own of its last drops of tea. "Not a bad thing."

"Agree to disagree. Cupcake?"

"No, thank you."

Meda nibbled on one herself. "Oh well. Bella's like Walburga." Shocked, she gave a hollow laugh at her own words. "Only prettier."

Cissy shuddered. "I hope she doesn't end up like Walburga."

"Me too. But she's already almost as unbearable as her, really. We just happen to love her for it." Meda sighed. "Sometimes I wonder how Sirius will turn out."

"Unbearable," Cissy judged. The last time she had seen Sirius had ended rather messily, with worms in her hair, lots of unladylike screeching, death threats and their mothers having to intercede while her sisters were doubled over laughing in the distance.

Meda laughed. "You are biased… He's a nice boy. A bit naughty, I'll give you that."

"I'd say."

"Bella was worse."

Cissy hesitated. "Was she?"

"Yes. The only difference is that she was protective of you. She didn't prank you, just stuck to the mocking."

"Thank God."

Meda chuckled, and then was serious again. "So... one could assume that Sirius will be a little bit like Bella when he gets older?"

Narcissa shrugged. "I don't know… He's important, I suppose. He's the Heir."

"That doesn't suffice to shape his whole life, Cissy."

She shrugged again, and Meda sent her a really odd look.

"What would you have me tell you?" she said eventually. "He'll go into Slytherin, feel a bit rebellious, and then he'll have to get married, and well married. He'll find himself a nice job at the Ministry, a good wife, and that should keep him about satisfied. It's his responsibilities, after all."

Her sister was still staring as though Cissy had suddenly grown a second nose or a pair of horns. "Are you okay, Meda?"

"Oh yes." Andromeda shook her head slowly, raising her eyebrows. "Just reality catching up, I guess."

"Oh," Cissy said tactfully.

Meda took another cupcake. "How do you see yourself in the future, Cissy? Like Mother?"

"Oh no, better," Narcissa said at once. "Mother is a lady. But I'll be queen. I'll have a very beautiful and influential husband, and a dashing house. Acres and acres of stunning gardens, works of art to be beheld everywhere. I'll have children, too, and they'll be _perfect_. And they'll love my husband and myself very much, always listen to what we say. My husband will listen to me, too, though he'll be a strong man."

Cissy was babbling rapidly under Meda's steady, searching gaze. "Fairytale, Cissy," she said.

Narcissa glared. "They come true sometimes," she muttered. "Just look at us. Three sisters of flawless breeding and ancestry, two dark, the other fair... And pretty balls with princes getting on one knee at midnight..."

Meda's lips tightened, her expression hovering between repressed laughter and bitterness, and she was quiet for a while. Eventually she spoke again: "Would you fit Bella with a prince and a bunch of pretty, obedient children?"

Cissy hesitated. "Bella is different. She's the rebel – there's always one in each generation, they say – but she still won't just... toss her duties away. She loves us too much, and she wants to live up to the name of Black." Cissy pondered. "Bella hates society... maybe politics, then? She won't sit still in a home, either. She needs something thrilling to do..." She suddenly grinned. "But she could have a thrilling husband. An adventurer. They could travel the world, and when Bella has matured enough, come back to settle down and have a family. Yes, that's a sweet compromise." Narcissa laughed to herself. "Merlin, any kid of Bella's would be unbearable."

Meda laughed with her, the sound slightly hollow. "Where would you fit _me_?"

Cissy smiled radiantly. "Oh, easy. You'd need knowledge – as long as you can study and bury your nose in books, you'll be fine. A manor with a huge library, definitely. And your husband should be someone clever, and... someone you can trust."

Meda looked up at her wordlessly.

"Am I accurate?" she pushed.

"Oh, quite."

"Good." Cissy beamed smugly. "And have any intelligent, trustworthy boys caught your attention yet?"

Meda poured herself a cup of chocolate. "I'm not looking yet, Cissy."

Narcissa sighed. "All right, all right. Do you think Bella could meet someone tonight?"

"No, certainly not in a ball. She's looking for something more."

"So _she_ is looking?" Cissy prompted.

Andromeda made a face. "I was speaking in general, Cissy. You're so annoying, I swear." She sighed. "Not everybody has a Lucius Malfoy waiting for them on the paths of destiny with 'meant to be' written in flashy letters across his forehead., you know," she teased then, moving past the irritation.

Cissy flushed crimson, hitting Andromeda's arm. "It's not like that," she said defensively. "He's only a friend... so far."

"But in the future..." Meda snickered.

Narcissa was looking away in the distance, her eyebrows shaping a focused little line. "If he's still as perfect," she said coolly, "yes then, we'll be meant to be."

Meda had a little laugh. Cissy blinked and snapped back to reality.

"I'm not as obsessed as you make me sound!"

"Sure, sure. Anyway, you have plenty of time to make friends with him... But for now, I'm glad you have Cassie. I was thinking the two of you could get along."

"You set us up." Cissy snorted. "But she's nice. A bit weird, but nice."

"Weird is good." Meda was grinning widely. "You need someone who'll force you to have a unusual thought once in a while, Cissy. Otherwise you'll become so perfect that Bella and I won't be able to stand you anymore."

Narcissa hit her.

"If you make me spill my chocolate all over Bella's bed, I'm blaming you when she gets back."

"You could clean it up."

"I can't do cleaning spells, you first-year."

Cissy was starting to sulk again, so Meda scooted closer and poked her. "How is it going with the other girls?"

"Quite well. Alcyone Nott is a pain, of course – I never knew stupidity and smugness could get along so well, it's like each is prompting the other to keep growing – but I try to treat her as I would any normal person regardless, and I think she loathes me, which is thoroughly mutual, but still she shows me some respect. The others are dim-witted, plain and probably half-blood, they're forming Alcyone's little clique. Maybe they would pick on Cassie if it wasn't for me, but as she's my friend, they leave her alone. Everybody seems to grant me the respect I deserve."

Andromeda started laughing. "Get over yourself, Cissy. If Cassie is anything like Cara, which she seems to be, she doesn't need anyone to defend herself. She could probably fight back better than you, actually. Blood isn't always everything."

Narcissa huffed, but did not comment. "The Burkes don't have much money, do they? They're pureblood, but not... high-class."

Andromeda sighed. "No, definitely not high-class. Their great-grandfather owned that Knockturn Alley shop, Borgin and Burke – dreadful place, I've heard, but it makes very good business. They actually do have money, loads of money – but Cara and Cassie's father ran off abroad to marry an impoverished Irishwoman, and he got disowned. All the gold went straight to Cara's aunt, who had married _very_ well."

"Oh. Do I know her?"

"Quite. It's Lady Malfoy."

Cissy gasped. "Abraxas Malfoy married a shopkeeper's granddaughter?"

"Yes, he needed the money. The Malfoys are an old family, granted, but they'd never really been influential before, and gold helps like you couldn't imagine. Anyway... perhaps that also has to do with the fact that Father, Uncle Orion and Mr Malfoy all graduated from Hogwarts the same year. Abraxas was only just starting to get renowned into good society, and the best families went for the Blacks with their young maidens... He settled for money, and he did well. Circe Malfoy is very intelligent and resourceful, I'm sure you would never have imagined that she wasn't born in opulence. All the important people have long forgiven her who her father was."

Cissy felt a thrill going down her spine. "So Cassie is related to the Malfoys?"

Meda snorted. "The relations aren't very regular between the spoiled rich part of the family and the disowned, Cissy. Families and love are complicated."

"This speaks a lot about madness and passionate love..." Narcissa whispered.

"Indeed."

Meda was staring into the depths of the cup she was holding with tense fingers, frowning. Cissy didn't notice.

"But you're not only friends with Cara – you have loads of friends. I saw that on the train."

Meda had a small laugh. "Yes, the people in my year are quite friendly. Cara's my one best friend though."

Cissy nodded pensively.

"Are the boys in your year friendly?" Meda asked.

She thought for a while. "I don't really know – they're not bad, but... Well, Cadmus is pretty full of himself, Crabbe and Peterson are the follower type, and Travers is quiet and rather odd. Virgil Greengrass is nice, though."

Andromeda cackled. "A proper young gentleman, uh?"

Cissy turned her nose up. "Yes. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Nothing indeed."

"Does Bella have friends in her year?" Narcissa asked quietly.

"No."

There was a beat of silence.

"She used to be closer to the boys. She doesn't get on well with girls. But... they've all grown up. Now they're interested in females in a wholly different way, you see. And the friendships she had weren't really strong enough to hold on through the change... She's pretty lonely."

"That's why she clings to us so much," Cissy realized.

"Indeed."

The idea of a vulnerable, needy Bellatrix seemed like an oddity to Narcissa. She took her time to process the information.

"She says she doesn't mind being alone, that it's better than putting up with dull or dumb people, because she's arrogant," Meda said in a distant tone. "She won't admit that it hurts. She used to be closest to older boys whom she could talk to about magic and what she calls 'real things'. She met them during Slughorn's little evenings, where he gathers his protégés."

Cissy looked up. "Oh, he invited me to one of those recently!"

Meda made a non-committal sound at the back of her throat. "I know, silly, I was there with you... You seemed to enjoy yourself, by the way."

"Oh yes," Narcissa replied, trying her best to overlook the ambiguous little smirk playing on the corner of her sister's mouth. "It was very pleasant, meeting all of those people from other years. Although he did invite Alcyone..." She made a face. "But really, it was a little like any society gathering. The guests were nearly the same."

"Yes, it's a lot about society and blood, but there are also people he invites because of their own talents, magical most of the time. And you must have noticed some were from other houses."

"And not _always_ pureblood." Narcissa wrinkled her nose.

"Bella liked those evenings because of the older Slytherins. At first they ignored her, but once she managed to get them to talk about old magic and they probably found her interesting. Lestrange and Rookwood, especially. But then they left the group and moved on to the actual Slug Club, and younger people replaced them. Lately, Bella only went when I agreed to go with her."

Cissy nodded, looking focused.

"All of the people from the group move on to Slug Club when they have reached fifth year?"

"No, the group gathers everyone who has a famous name, relations, or may prove to possess some potential. The Club is the elite of those." Meda laughed dismissively. "They throw little parties and actual events... sometimes they get privileges, in their future careers, mostly. Bella got invited, but it's not like Slughorn picked her for her faultless temper and manners – he's impressed with her magical abilities. She went to the first party, and came back disgruntled. It turned out more like a ball than cosy, serious-sounding discussions around the fire, as it seems."

Cissy sighed. "I will get to the Club."

"I know, and so will Lucius. Predictable as they come, really. I don't know if I will get invited... I'm only brainy and a Black, and his evenings already bore me to death, he must be aware of that. Then again, maybe he'll get past it, just for one more Black sister on his list of conquests."

Cissy laughed at that. "Why do you still go at all?"

"Before it was for Bella, and lately for you. But I'll do it less often. Bella needed the company, and it became fun because we could mock the others and stick together. You would rather shine by yourself, I'm sure, and you actually _enjoy_ the blasted thing."

Cissy yawned. "You're too good for us."

"You know it, I know it. Maybe Bella knows it too, but she takes it for granted, most of the time."

Narcissa smiled. "It _is_ granted."

Meda hit her. "Do you realize that you are getting sleepy this early? By the time it strikes midnight and your prince actually proposes you'll be _snoring_."

Cissy smirked. "We'll see." Yawning again, she curled into a ball while Meda was taking another cupcake.

By the time the door opened and the princess of the evening came wobbling in, it was well past midnight and Narcissa was sound asleep. Andromeda was busy reading, and she carefully marked her page before looking up with a smirk.

"How was it?"

"Dreadful," Bellatrix replied, kicking off her shoes and reaching up to pull the pins from her hair. "I met every single young bachelor in the neighbourhood. Mothers spent the evening throwing me into their sons' arms or trading me off for other proper young ladies. Flint wants to marry me, and he's a dreadful dancer. Ares Greengrass tried to kiss me. Lestrange has a girlfriend... Everybody threw their courtesy at me all night long. I feel queasy."

Andromeda stifled laughter. "What did you do to Greengrass?"

"Stepped on his foot with my lethal heels. That was the best I could do with Mother watching like a hawk the whole time."

"You probably hurt him enough."

"Maimed him, I would hope."

Meda laughed lightly again. "Cissy needs to hear about this."

Bella's eyes darkened. "Don't wake her up yet. It can wait till I actually have to kick her off my bed. I've been watching Mother and Father all evening, the best I could with everyone nagging me relentlessly, mind you."

Meda bit her lip. "And?"

"Well, they were looking quite tense. Only danced once, and Father never seemed to relax. He spent most of the evening sitting quietly drinking rum while the other men were gathered around him talking politics. Mother spent a lot of time playing matchmaker with Harmonia, too, of course."

"Nothing new."

"Exactly. Oh, and there's scandal in the air these days. No one bothered keeping their voices down so that innocent ears could be spared."

"Spill."

"As it seems, some girl ran off with a Mudblood – a Flint, I think – and there's been lots of gossip as well about that lady who seemingly can't have children, but I didn't catch names for this one. Garbage, but it keeps people busy." Bella snorted. "Well, at least that could never happen to a Black. It'd never touch us."

"Indeed," Andromeda muttered.

She busied herself watching Narcissa sleep while Bella moved around the room, all jerky moves and edgy temper. The youngest Black, pale and blond as she was, looked quite the angel even in the dim lights. Meda brushed a strand of hair from her forehead, contemplating.

Innocence, she decided, was bittersweet.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the sixth time since the beginning of the evening, Narcissa sighed heavily.

"Get over it, Cissy," Bellatrix groaned from the dressing table where she was busy applying make-up.

"Get over it? Both of my sisters are going off to a ball and I'm being left behind, and you want me to _get over it_?" Narcissa whined.

"You get to come along, after all," Bella muttered.

"Oh yes, certainly. I get to come along and be stuck upstairs all night with _Alcyone Nott_ , none other. Believe me, I'd rather stay here. It'll be all the more frustrating and humiliating and I'll be an _unwanted guest_."

"Would you stop with the drama, Cissy?" their other sister's voice interrupted as she opened the door and slipped in. "I could hear you from the corridor."

Narcissa turned, and gasped. "Meda! You look... incredible."

"Thank you for the tone of surprise, dearest," Meda snorted.

Narcissa wanted to throw something – preferably at someone. Andromeda, dressed in an elegant, knee-length indigo gown with crystal earrings and a fluffy off-white shawl, looked nothing like herself. Some light make-up complimented her brown eyes and fair complexion, and her hair was flowing, gently waving, down her back. With Bellatrix at her side and her low-cut carmine flamenco dress, they would make a stunning pair. Yet _she_ wore everyday robes, for she was only thirteen and too much of a child to attend balls. Growing up was taking forever, and it wasn't _fair_.

"Don't even speak, Cissy," Meda said, gliding past her, "we hear it all before each ball. I nearly have the whole bloody rant memorized."

Stopping behind Bellatrix, she placed her hands on her shoulders. "It'll be time to go soon, Mother said. And you've had enough make-up."

"Her words, or yours?"

"Stunningly, I think we'd actually agree on that one issue."

Meeting her sister's eye in the mirror, Bella grinned brightly at her reflection.

"If you don't want me to complain, then distract me," Cissy demanded, feeling left out. "What are your prospects for the evening? The two of you are looking suspiciously serene."

Andromeda sighed. "Pretty dresses lighten up the mood, Cissy. I thought you of all people would understand that, you all but die of bliss every time and you haven't even worn anything good yourself yet!"

"Besides, _we_ are not crybabies and we know that whining gets you nowhere," Bella added rather cruelly.

Cissy scowled.

"Anyway," Andromeda groaned. "Prospects? Beyond the dresses and the boredom, I don't see any for myself. I've never believed in meeting interesting people during _balls_ , you know that."

Bellatrix snorted. "Meda prefers interacting with the opposite sex in the library. Thrill of the forbidden, you see. Minus the dust."

Meda swatted her. "You used to agree with me."

"I still do... But perhaps there are exceptions to be found."

"I don't even think I'm ready for a relationship," Meda continued. "I want to think about myself... My OWLs, my future, my wants, my friends, my sisters. As soon as a boy gets into the picture, you're in for the engagement talk."

"It's worse when there _aren't_ any boys in the picture," Bella muttered. " _Especially_ when you're getting closer to seventeen... Especially when you're _past_ seventeen."

"Wrong. It was worse when you were with Macnair. Mother wouldn't leave you alone."

Bella's make-up bag slammed rather violently against the table. "Let's not bring Macnair into this, would you?"

Meda grimaced. "Sorry. But hey, you're supposed to be over him now."

"I am. Over him being a monkey-brained bastard, certainly."

"Do you have anyone new in sight?" Cissy chimed in.

Bellatrix hesitated. "Lestrange is available again... Rodolphus Lestrange. We talked quite a bit during the Christmas ball. The thing is, I was a little drunk and details evade me..."

"Bella!" Cissy cried out outragedly, her outburst partly covered with Andromeda's laughter.

"Too bad. You've always had a thing for him, really."

"I did not!" Bellatrix exclaimed. " _I_ am no Cissy – I don't pick my crushes from the cradle!"

Cissy screamed in fury and threw herself at her sisters.

"Girls, we must – what in the name of Merlin is going on here? _Narcissa!_ "

Cissy could have roared in frustration. Of all the moments for her mother to walk into the room, _really_.

"I'm so sorry, Mother," she immediately said in an appropriately contrite tone. "Bella and Meda were being nasty, and I lost my cool. I don't know what came over me."

"I have to say I'm disappointed, Narcissa, but at least you're admitting your wrongs. Bellatrix, Andromeda, if you could only concentrate on your outfits instead of tormenting your sister, we would be off already. And we absolutely cannot afford the slightest lateness, especially since Narcissa will be staying with Alcyone during the ball, and thus we have to get her settled before making our entrance. Now, is everything ready?"

"Yes, Mother," they chorused.

"Very well. Let us go."

The sisters quickly followed Druella down the stairs and into the drawing room where their Portkey – a less messy means of transport for dolled-up maidens than Floo Powder – was awaiting. They all gathered around it, and after a short but uncomfortable trip, here they were, before the Notts' manor. Wondering idly why there wasn't any such thing as a truly comfortable wizarding means of transport, Cissy crossed the artfully decorated gardens, gritting her teeth, and headed upstairs with her mother, whereas Bella and Meda stopped in the entrance hall, waiting for Druella's return to make their entrance. Mrs Nott was expecting them, and the two ladies quickly ushered Narcissa into Alcyone's bedroom. Before any of them knew it, the girls were left together, strictly banned from sneaking downstairs.

Alcyone stared Narcissa down, scowling.

"Well, good evening," Cissy spoke, mentally cursing her schoolmate for dreadful manners.

"Good evening," Alcyone retorted callously. She tossed her hair back with a quick jerk of her head, jaw tight. "You are right on time. Must have been quite a rush though, with two sisters attending the ball."

"Quite," Narcissa said calmly. "All it takes is a sense of organization, though."

"Oh, I know. It has been quite frantic around here as well, of course, with everything related to the ball. You'd be surprised, all the details that require careful planning. I was involved, of course."

"Oh, I wouldn't doubt it." Narcissa smiled sweetly.

Alcyone sniffed. "It has been quite a while since your family last hosted a ball, as far as I recall."

"Yes." Narcissa endeavoured to keep her smile in place. "It is tradition for balls to take place in a family where at least one unmarried child will be attending. But I am quite sure you know that. Actually, we shall be hosting the Christmas ball next year, it is to be my debutante ball."

"I see. And your family will have three girls to marry off by that time..."

"Indeed," Narcissa said shortly. "Unless Bellatrix gets engaged beforehand."

Alcyone smirked. "Of course."

There was a beat of silence.

"You must be terribly jealous. Two sisters down there, in the middle of the party, having fun."

"Oh, not that much. My turn will come soon."

"Yes, at the Christmas ball. In one... nearly two years, actually." Alcyone smiled. "I will attend the summer ball. Did you know that? Being born in June, and everything."

"How lovely," Narcissa said shortly.

Alcyone looked like she might start purring at any minute. "Very much indeed. My family already has prospects for me... There has been word about the Lestranges, the Flints... Oh, I keep very good company. Very high-class."

"Very," Cissy shot back before she could help herself, "I wasn't quite aware that half-bloods qualified as high-class, though."

Alcyone pursed her lips, eyes glinting with lazy satisfaction. "Why now... _I_ do not keep the company of a family of shopkeepers. And yet I have friends, and success – a lady does not kiss and tell, obviously, but at least one of the boys in our year is actually absolutely head over heels for me."

Cissy laughed. "I was always told that a lady doesn't show off, either. We mustn't quite share the same principles."

Alcyone glared, but before she could actually respond, music started underneath, drawing the girls' attention. For a minute they stood frozen, listening, their fingers nearly curling into fists from sheer frustration. Then they shared a look, and the sour reminder seemed to have brought them back to their senses. They turned away, haughty scowls on their faces, and wordlessly endeavoured to get themselves busy, if not distracted.

What seemed like an eternity later, Narcissa looked up from the book she had brought, as Alcyone had silently gotten up from her desk and was making her way towards the door. Cissy cleared her throat, eyebrows raised, and the other girl paused, her hand on the doorknob, shoulders tense.

"You must be aware of it, since it is your house after all, but... we are not allowed downstairs."

"I am very aware," Alcyone snapped, "and I was going to the library, actually."

"Oh." Narcissa let the silence stretch a few seconds. "You're facing temptation head on, I see."

"Well," Alcyone said bleakly, "if you are left alone, you'll be facing temptation, too."

"Perhaps."

There was another short silence.

"Actually, there's nothing to prove me that you won't sneak downstairs as soon as I'm gone."

"And there's nothing to prove me that _you_ won't do it instead of going to the library."

Alcyone grunted. "Just come with me if you're feeling that suspicious."

Narcissa stood and walked lightly over to her schoolmate. They stepped out together.

Once in the corridor, they shared but one look before lithely creeping towards the grand staircase.

It proved nothing short of a disappointment. The ballroom door was tightly shut, and there was nobody around; they could only hear music. They waited a while, pressed against the banister, with bated breath – ready to run for it, or throw themselves down the steps and into the room, really. Then they went back to the bedroom, where they peered outside from Alcyone's balcony. Still no one. The library all but forgotten, they settled to wait again, scowling.

"Do you want to play Truth or Dare?" Alcyone asked after a while, startling Cissy.

"No," she automatically replied, "I'm busy." Truth be told, she wasn't doing a very good job at concentrating on her book.

Alcyone groaned. "You're a coward."

"I'm a lady."

"According to the people downstairs, not before two years you're not."

There was nothing to respond to that, and so Narcissa didn't acknowledge her. A while later, she heard her companion in boredom start snoring softly, with a disbelief that went way beyond words.

Though Narcissa herself fought valiantly against sleep, she had to admit defeat when, at about two in the morning, her mother came to fetch her, and had to shake her awake. The young girl shuffled down the staircase, her eyes barely able to remain open. However, once they reached her sisters, her attention was roused, which helped fight against the tiredness. Both of them looked very awake and excited, their eyes glowing like lamps. Bella was moving around quickly, restlessly, seeming to stare right past them into something full of promises, far in the distance; Meda was flushed, quiet, and a small smile kept randomly flickering across her lips. All along the way home, Narcissa surveyed them both through her heavy lids, determined to get answers before she passed out and surrendered to sleep.

"So," she attacked as soon as they were left together in Bella's room. "How was the evening?"

There was a beat of silence, while Meda, her back to her, was taking off her shoes, and Bella was letting her hair down. "Well," the eldest eventually spoke, a small smirk playing on the corner of her lips, "I'm with Rodolphus now."

Narcissa gasped, and Meda whirled around. "Is it official?"

"Indeed. He said he'd come to see me again during the holidays."

"Did you two kiss?" Narcissa pushed eagerly.

Bella chuckled. "Of course."

Meda was being quiet. "That's great, Bella," she eventually said. "It was about time you found someone again. And Lestrange sounds good."

Bella's smirk was cryptic again. "That he is."

Though she still had the odd feeling that Bellatrix was keeping something from them, Cissy turned towards Andromeda next. "What about you? Did you meet anyone interesting?"

Andromeda pursed her lips. "Well," she started, and then laughed nervously. "Actually, Bella, I spent most of the evening with the youngest Lestrange boy. Rabastan. We could double-date, really."

Bellatrix's head shot up. "Oh? Did you two hit it off?"

"Quite. I'd never really talked to him before – he's the year above me, you know – and he proved to be extremely interesting, and quite the gentleman." Meda actually giggled, something Cissy had never witnessed before. "We flirted a lot, I have to admit."

"Amazing!" Bella exclaimed. "We're both finding good boys, and from a great family, at that. Maybe Mother will actually let us be from now on. Sounds perfect."

Even as they laughed gleefully together, Bellatrix kept watching Meda's face intently, as though she was trying to find out something their sister would not or could not say. Narcissa thought it all quite intriguing, and yet she was so tired that investigating the next day looked like the perfect idea. So she cheered, and Meda twirled, and Bella clapped – then yawning caught up with them, and they each retired to their own room, grinning and blowing kisses.

Crawling into bed, Cissy wished she could hide in Bella's or Meda's room and steal the secrets from their sleeping heads, but she wished even more to be fifteen, with balls and men and secrets of her own. There was no time for bitterness though before she fell into hazy dreams, full of lights, flashing colours and running princesses in precious gowns.


	4. Who Let You Go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the fourth chapter! Big, thoroughly not canon twist of events in this one, so I hope you'll like it. (No worries, it doesn't make the rest of the story AU.) Title is from the song by The Killers. I know, that's a shocker.

"Summer ends, summer ends," Narcissa sang under her breath, dropping in an armchair in their manor's huge library.

Andromeda glanced up at her, setting her book aside. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"If you're thinking what I'm thinking you're thinking, then yes," Cissy shot back.

Andromeda sighed. "First year without Bella."

"It'll go well," Cissy said confidently. "I mean, we have our friends. And she'd better write often."

Meda chuckled. "Bella doesn't write. She's not the type. Not thoughtful enough, and she's just not a girl of many words."

Cissy made a face. "It's not too late to work on that."

Meda sighed. "Let's face it, she'll be off somewhere with Rodolphus all the time anyway. It's already the case, and it's only getting worse since they've been engaged... now that Mother actually lets her have her way."

"You don't sound excessively thrilled with that."

She looked troubled. "Well, I don't know what they're up to... Bella's been pretty mysterious lately."

"You mean they could... do things they're not supposed to do together _yet?_ " Cissy prompted carefully, awkward with her wording.

Meda stared for a minute, and then shook her head and laughed.

" _That!_ God, no, Cissy, I have no clue what they might do to each other when they're alone, and I absolutely don't want to know. It's more about... their friends. I don't really like the atmosphere of it all. They're always off to meet friends of Rodolphus', and so is Rab..."

"Well, at least now she has friends." Cissy frowned. "You're not jealous, are you?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Meda snapped. "I just would very much like to know what's going on, because _something_ is going on. They're so cryptic all the time, always to be off somewhere, and Rodolphus is so mysterious and Bella's acting so weird and I seem to be the only remotely perceptive person in this household, _sadly_."

"That's not – " Cissy fiercely started, but she was interrupted by a shout coming from beneath their feet: " _NO!_ "

The two sisters froze, sharing a look. "What was that?" Narcissa whispered.

"We should go look," Meda replied – but as they were moving towards the door, there was a great bang from downstairs.

"What the hell?" Meda exclaimed, and ran out.

Narcissa rushed after her. The sisters flew down the stairs, the sound of a slamming door echoing just as they reached the hall. Cissy screamed, her hands flying up to her mouth. Their mother was sprawled upon the marble floor, motionless.

"Stay back, Cissy!" Andromeda ordered, kneeling beside Druella and quickly looking for her pulse. "She looks like she's only been Stunned," she announced.

Narcissa moaned in terror. "What happened?"

Meda just whipped out her wand. " _Ennervate_ ," she spoke, and Druella's eyelids fluttered.

"Andro-meda," she croaked, her voice small and frighteningly weak. She turned her head slightly, towards the staircase and her youngest. "Narcissa."

"What happened, Mother?" Cissy yelped. "What happened to you? Were there intruders?"

Meda gestured for her to be quiet as their mother slowly sat up. "No," she spoke in a low, bleak tone, "there were no intruders."

Silence. "Mother, where is Father?" Andromeda asked, staring into her eyes.

Druella grimaced, shook her head a little. "He left."

"But we were supposed to go out tonight, and celebrate Bella's engagement!" Cissy cried out, appalled.

Andromeda glared at her as though it were her fault. Druella stood up, her face vacant. "We're not going anywhere," she said. "Not tonight."

"He didn't...?" Andromeda started.

"But _where_ is he?" Cissy asked in despair.

And Druella staggered, her eyes shutting tightly.

"Off to his whore." The words had been spoken low, so low, yet they hit Cissy hard, knocking the breath from her lungs. She'd never heard her mother speak as such before – and – it was maddening. She gasped, trying to see sense.

"Andromeda, take care of your sister. Girls... forgive me." Druella walked past her youngest and started slowly up the stairs. Meda got up from the floor in time to grab Cissy's sleeve as the girl automatically turned to follow her mother. Narcissa turned a blank gaze her way.

"What does it _mean?_ "

Meda opened her mouth, and then closed it again, white-faced. "Let's go back upstairs," she whispered, tugging on Cissy's hand, "but Mother needs to be alone."

Narcissa followed like a docile little doll, not feeling her legs. Andromeda led the way back to the library. The wide room, their carefree discussions seemed so very foreign now. Breaking free from her sister's grasp, Narcissa went to an armchair and sank into it, hugging her knees. "What? _Why?_ " she whispered.

"I don't know why," Andromeda responded blankly. She was trembling, her whole body shaking. "I don't know _WHY!_ " And she whirled around abruptly, her voice pitching into a scream, a window shattering with a flash of her wand, books flying. Narcissa cried out in terror, covering her mouth. Andromeda had never expressed her anger through outbursts of magic before – it'd always been Bellatrix, and even with their elder sister such occasions were few and far between. Cissy curled deeper into her armchair, willing to disappear, to escape, anywhere.

"Why would he do this?" Meda panted, frantic tears in her eyes. "Why _now?_ Why us? It's always been us he neglected... _we_ didn't do anything!" She hugged herself, tremors rocking through her body. "He's been hiding for so long. _Why – didn't – he – keep – hiding – it?_ " she growled.

For a few seconds Narcissa's brain didn't quite process her sister's words. And then she realized something, something that made her straighten up slowly, eyes wide. "Meda."

Her sister turned towards her, looking haggard.

"You said... 'he's been hiding for so long.' Did you _know?_ Before tonight?"

Andromeda stared blankly, and then shook her head. "Of course," she murmured. "I... Bella and I... sensed that something was off long ago." She hesitated. "We found out... one day... when we heard Walburga talking to Grandfather about it."

"And you didn't tell me?" Cissy whispered.

Meda snorted. "We would have told you if you'd asked questions, Cissy. But you _never_ ask questions. Who were we to shatter your shiny little world?"

Narcissa blanched, hurt and betrayal slowly sinking in. Meda turned her back on her, running a hand through her hair. "I wish Bella was there," she moaned. "Where the fuck did she go, _again?_ "

Narcissa didn't reply.

They seemed to remain there for an eternity, Cissy prostrated in the armchair, Meda standing in the middle of the room like a trapped animal, occasionally pacing from side to side, sinking into a seat, then abruptly leaping up again. Suddenly, the door slammed upstairs, and they both started.

"Stay here," Meda called over her shoulder, already halfway out of the room. Frozen in her seat, Cissy considered rebellion for a minute, and then slumped backwards again, defeated. Whoever it was, she had nothing to tell them, nothing whatsoever. She wished nothing had happened, she wished someone would hold her tight, hug her, shield her. No one seemed liable to do that. So she didn't move.

A while later, she was shaken from her stupor by the sound of the door opening again. Bellatrix stepped in, followed by Andromeda. They were holding hands, and Cissy experienced a brief moment of bitterness.

"Hey, Cissy," Bellatrix said. "Are you coming? We're going to my room."

Narcissa swallowed. "Sure," she said hollowly, and got to her feet. Bella extended her free hand to her, and she seized it, gripping her sister's slim fingers tightly. Together, they walked to the eldest's room.

Meda sat on Bella's bed, hugging her knees to her chest. Cissy sat too, on the side of the bed, while Bella remained standing, leaning against her desk. "Mother would rather be alone tonight, as it seems," she spoke smoothly, "so I suggest we have dinner here, and then we can all sleep together tonight. I already talked to the elf."

"Fine," Cissy murmured, and Meda nodded. Bellatrix bit her lip. The silence stretched, heavy – none of them seemed able to break it.

Dinner was a quiet occasion that night. Narcissa gave up after a few bites, disgusted, and neither of her sisters could eat much either. They curled into bed early, lying close together, holding hands loosely. Cissy was convinced she would not sleep, and yet within mere minutes, she sank into unconsciousness.

She awoke to the sound of hushed voices quite close to her.

"...great things."

"I don't want to hear it, Bella," she heard Meda whisper back.

"But just _think_ about what it means..."

"I already have. Have you? You sound like this is just a game to you."

"It is not," Bella growled in a low voice. "You don't know me at all if you are thinking that."

"I know you too well. Bella, our family is shattered already. Don't you see that?"

There was a pause. "Father'll come back," Bellatrix murmured.

"Are you sure? He's come back long enough," Meda said sourly.

Silence. "He _has_ to come back," Bella said, her voice abruptly louder.

"Don't wake Cissy!" Andromeda urged under her breath.

Narcissa gritted her teeth, and then purposefully shifted. Her sisters hushed beside her, and she felt Bellatrix squeeze her hand tighter.

She did not squeeze back.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************

Cygnus was still gone in the morning when the sisters awoke from an uneasy sleep, huddled together. He was gone all day and the following night. His absence seemed to suck everything else in its nothingness, stretching in time like an unlikely yet fated occurrence, setting in motion things that no one wanted to think about. As a matter of fact, nobody evoked his return out loud anymore.

Three days after her daughters had found her, unconscious, in the hall of her own house, Druella owled her uncle-in-law, the Black family's patriarch, Arcturus Black.

Narcissa saw the bird fly away, soaring towards the morning sun, and she called her sisters to tell them. They didn't ask questions to their mother – actually, though she was up and functioning again, attending meals and reminding them to mind their posture, communication with Druella was still few and far between – perhaps because of her faraway, absent gazes, perhaps because they had seen her limp on the ground, and could not dismiss the image. And then, a few hours later, the majority of the Black family floo'd into their drawing room without warning.

Cissy flew up the stairs to notify her mother. By the time they both came back into the room, Bellatrix was shouting passionately, her cries managing to cover Arcturus' low, steady and authoritative voice, as well as Walburga's, which was way more impressive as their aunt was well known for the powerful pair of lungs she was blessed with, and her willingness to use them whenever she deemed it necessary, which was fairly often. The young witch whirled towards them, cheeks flaming, eyes blazing, and Cissy cringed back, shocked by the wilderness dilating her sibling's pupils.

"I am eighteen," she growled, "of age. You can't order me away like a child while you discuss the family's matters. It is my father you are talking about."

"I said no, Bellatrix," Arcturus replied, his voice so hard it could have sliced through stone. "You are unmarried and under your parents' responsibility still. You will do as I order you and wait here with your sisters and cousins, instead of making a spectacle of yourself, openly disregarding my commands and bringing shame to your breeding."

Bellatrix glared at him, then her head whipped towards Druella, and for a second her expression was very nearly hopeful. Narcissa felt like the world had been turned upside down, her sister disobeying the family's patriarch and turning to their mother for support. But Druella faced it with apathy, wordless, expressionless. She bowed her head, her gaze focused on Arcturus, and Bella snarled, feeling the pressure of duty weighing upon her fiery rebellion – refusing to give in.

"I'll prove you all," she vowed, her voice shaky, "that I'm worth more than matrimony, even if I'm a _girl!_ "

"Now – " Walburga started loudly, but Bellatrix was already pushing past her mother and sister, dashing out of the room. With a cry of shock, Meda threw herself behind her, and Narcissa, alarmed, instinctively followed.

"Where are you going?" she could hear Meda shouting.

"Out – away," Bella growled back. "I need to get away."

Cissy surged into the hall. Bellatrix was hastily wrapping a cloak around her slight frame, hands shaking with anger. Andromeda stood between her and the door.

"Let me go, Meda."

"Don't leave me," Andromeda whispered, her voice hoarse. "Don't leave."

Bellatrix shook her head fiercely, her curls flying. "I can't stay, I can't take it – not another minute. I'm sorry. I love you."

She reached out to hug her sister, but Meda stepped back. "If you love me, don't go," she whispered.

Bella's gaze hardened. "Please tell me you don't want to trap me too," she said. "You'd have me be quiet?"

Meda stepped aside. "Where are you going?" she questioned.

"Meda..."

"Take me with you."

"I can't – not yet."

"Take me with you or leave me behind, Bella. There is no easy option."

Bellatrix gritted her teeth. "I don't need an easy option, thank you." She stepped out without a second glance, the door slamming behind her. Andromeda gasped, a strangled, pitiful sound. Cissy, shaking, didn't move.

"Girls."

Automatically, they turned. Druella was standing there, white-faced. Behind her were Walburga, Orion, Pollux, and Arcturus.

"Where did your sister go?" Walburga hissed dangerously.

Meda just shook her head. "She'll be back," she uttered hoarsely.

"We are going to talk in your father's study," Pollux spoke. "You are not, under any excuse or circumstance, to come and interrupt."

"Your cousins are here, as you saw," Walburga added. "I expect you to watch over them."

As the sisters didn't look about to rebel, the adults of the family turned away and mounted the staircase in a silent procession, Druella leading the way. Once they were out of sight, Meda walked wordlessly back into the drawing room. Their cousins of nine and eight years of age, Sirius and Regulus, were indeed there waiting, wide-eyed; Narcissa hadn't even noticed their presence before.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked immediately. "Where did Bella go?"

Meda flinched. "I don't know, Sirius," she whispered, collapsing into an armchair.

Sirius peered at her. "Are you sad?"

She laughed. "A little."

"Did Bella do something very bad?"

Meda looked up and stared at him for a long time, wordlessly. "No, but she still might," she answered in a toneless voice. "They're not here because of her."

"Mother and Father wouldn't tell us," Sirius groaned.

"They said it was business for the grown-ups," Regulus chimed in timidly.

Meda nodded somberly. She looked so broken that Sirius quickly went over to her and gave her a hug. She leaned into her little cousin's embrace, and Cissy, who felt frozen like a statue, looked away.

For once, Sirius did not whinge that he was bored, nor try to talk or guilt anybody into playing one of his games. He remained standing by Andromeda, her head leaning against his little shoulder, looking proud – and Regulus sat quietly in a chair way too large for him, once in a while meeting Cissy's eye, and then quickly glancing away. Narcissa listened intently, yet there was nothing to hear but quiet breathing and the occasional creaking somewhere in the house. She didn't feel like crying, unlike Meda whose tears were slowly but surely soaking Sirius' robes. She just stood there, motionless.

Eventually they heard footsteps, and the sound of the front door opening and closing – a sound that, by then, made the sisters both cringe.

"We won't have seen Uncle Cygnus," Sirius said absent-mindedly. "You'll have to say hello for us."

"No, I can't, Sirius," Meda simply said, and he stared at her, alarmed. The silence stretched on, only disturbed by noises from the hall.

The door flew open. "Sirius, Regulus," Walburga called as she came barging in, "we're going home!"

Their aunt's critical gaze flitted across the room, resting briefly upon each of the sisters. Meda had stood, gently pushing Sirius away.

"Are there any news?" she asked.

"None of your concern," Walburga snapped, summoning the Floo powder with one flick of her wand, shoving some into each of her sons' hands. "The three of you don't know your place – I have to confess I am quite appalled."

"Do you even know where he is?" Meda growled. "He's your brother."

Walburga glanced up briefly. "Yes, I know. The family will ensure his timely return. The subject of this whole ordeal is, after all, dead."

"She is dead?" Andromeda gasped; the boys paled, and Cissy staggered.

Walburga sighed. "Druella will explain as much as she deems necessary," she said shortly. "Boys!"

Imperiously, she gestured forward, and Regulus stumbled into the fireplace, throwing a distressed glance around him as he called: "12, Grimmauld Place!". Sirius was clinging to Andromeda's waist, but as his mother barked his name, he reluctantly let go and also stepped into the flames. Walburga nodded curtly to her nieces, yet then she hovered, before stepping into the hearth.

"Andromeda," she said over her shoulder.

Meda started. "What?"

There was a pause. "Work on your emotions," Walburga eventually uttered. "Cool them, tame them, control them – but don't just push them back. You are much like my brother, way too much, as it would seem."

Meda laughed, the sound off and too high. "I'll try to remember that."

And then, with a whoosh of emerald flames, they were alone.

"I need to talk to Mother," Meda whispered, her face blank. She turned away, and automatically, Cissy followed.

The mansion felt huge and dead, emptiness ringing with their footsteps and swelling in their chests, and they found Druella in the study, where she was standing, just standing, staring into space.

"Mother?" Andromeda called softly, and the woman jumped, turning towards them her pale blue, hazy gaze.

"Girls," she said, and Narcissa ached to actually hear their names through her lips, to know that she was not so out of reach – not leaving them alone.

Andromeda leaned against the doorway. "Is Father coming back, Mother?"

"I would not know," Druella started vaguely, and then seemed to get a grip. "Eventually he will, though, certainly."

"Eventually," Meda repeated in a whisper. "Is the woman dead?"

Druella shook. "It is a matter of no importance," she said blankly.

"It must be, if he loves her more than his family, name and pride."

Druella's eyes blazed at those words. "Family always comes first," she uttered slowly, precisely. "You are too young to fully understand that, Andromeda."

"What is it you name family? Us – or the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black?"

Druella looked away. "I am, I must say, quite tired," she spoke, "and I am sure you must still have some packing to do, girls. You are off to school in a few days, don't you forget that."

Meda gritted her teeth. "We won't forget."

"Is there anything we can do, Mother?" Narcissa asked in a small voice.

Druella waved a dismissive hand. "Go and do what you must. Everything will come back to normal soon."

Straightening up, their mother pushed past them, heading to her bedroom. She paused at the door. "I will perhaps not attend dinner tonight," she called to them. "Do not be alarmed." And then she disappeared inside.

Andromeda was shaking. "Indeed," she snarled, and then she abruptly whirled around, and rushed downstairs again.

An owl was tapping the window in the drawing room as she strode in, and Meda threw herself against the glass with a cry of relief. She fumbled to undo the string and tore the letter open, but she tossed it away almost instantly, with a high-pitched scream of frustration. "It's Rabastan," she growled.

Narcissa, who had remained standing by the door, watched warily as her sister turned around, again and again, seeming to crave a distraction or a comfort that would not end up appearing. "What does he want?" she quietly asked.

"You tell me." And Meda picked the letter from the floor, shoving it in her sister's hands.

Cissy, shocked, almost responded that it might have been personal, but something in Meda was proving so unhinged, so unlike her usual behaviour – as though she were snapping, losing control, not of her temper like Bellatrix, but of whom she really was – that she did not dare antagonize her, and so she just unfolded the parchment and read. She gasped as she was speeding through the letter, coldness flooding her lungs.

"What?" Andromeda hissed.

"They know," Cissy whispered, not feeling her lips. "Word has gotten out."

Meda tore the letter from her hands, reading it hastily, white-faced.

_Dear Andromeda,_

_It is in great worry that I seize my quill today to write to you. As you might already be aware, rumours of your father's elopement and of his romance with now-deceased Cecilia MacDougal are spreading rapidly through society as I speak, nourished by his reckless appearance at the woman's house and his openly broken attitude. I suppose that we must be thankful for Mr MacDougal's unwillingness to trigger gossip even further, for it did not come to a duel. I assume your family must be already handling the matter of his return, as well as the best way to deal with the current situation. I worry only for yourself, and desire to make you well aware of the extent of my support. I would very much like to see you and talk to you; if you wish to come to my house, you can do so without hesitating. We have much to discuss._

_With my sincerest concern and affection,_

_Rabastan._

Meda remained frozen for a minute, staring into space. Cissy breathed carefully in and out, her heart hammering.

_Cecilia. Cecilia MacDougal. Cecilia._

"Andromeda?"

Narcissa screamed in shock, and Meda whirled around. "Rabastan!"

His sister's boyfriend's head was currently in their fireplace, and Andromeda flew across the room, crouching before the hearth. "What are you doing here?" she asked breathlessly. "You just sent me a letter!"

"Yes, and then I went downstairs to find a distraught Bellatrix, looking for my brother," he replied. "I thought the matter was even more urgent than I had first foreseen, so here I am."

"Where is Bella now?" Meda urged. "Can I talk to her?"

"She just left, with Rodolphus," Rabastan said. "I would have come along, but I wished to speak to you first."

"Neither of you are suddenly willing to limit your relations to the Black family, then," Meda commented tonelessly.

Rabastan snorted. "Such gossip does not touch us, there are more important things. I am rather confident that _you_ wouldn't cheat on _me_."

"Do you know where my father is?"

"Sadly, no. But I am quite sure your family will be able to bring him home as quickly as possible, really."

Meda's lips tightened. "I would love to have my sister home right now," she whispered.

Rabastan shook his head; his eyes were glowing. "They had to leave, to deal with very serious matters. Come to Lestrange Mansion. We can talk more conveniently there, the two of us first, and then when your sister and my brother come back."

Meda wavered. "No... I have to stay with Cissy."

"But your mother is home, correct? Please, Andy. We must talk."

Andromeda tensed. "About what?"

He hesitated. "Great things," he murmured. "I know now may not look like the best time for you, but... it _is_ time."

"Rab, where did Bellatrix go?"

"I cannot tell you," he immediately responded, and then added: "Yet."

Meda didn't move for a long time, until he prompted: "Andy?", his gaze worried.

"I will talk to you soon," she eventually said, "but tonight I must take care of my sister. Then we shall see."

Rabastan nodded solemnly. "Blood always comes first. Goodbye, Andromeda."

"Goodbye." And he vanished.

Dimly, Narcissa thought that he had not suggested to come over himself. Before she could process anything more, Meda had grabbed a handful of Floo powder, and her head had disappeared into the flames.

She pulled back very shortly afterwards, rubbing her eyes. "Cara and Cassie will be here soon," she said as she got up from the floor.

"What?" Cissy called incredulously.

Meda turned towards her, surveying her with a sweeping glance. "You need a friend," she said shortly, "and as Bella isn't likely to be coming home anytime soon, I need to get out."

"But you just said you'd stay with me!" Narcissa choked.

"That was for Rabastan's sake – I can't, Cissy. I can't take it, not another minute. I'm sorry."

They both froze then, and Narcissa wanted to laugh, laugh high and hysterically, for Meda was repeating Bellatrix's very words – but this time it was Cissy who stood, begging, between her and the door. And actually, she would not beg – out of pride, but mostly of the sinking knowledge that it wouldn't change anything. She would have knelt and screamed for her sister to stay, and it would still be to no avail.

There was nothing to be done, she thought numbly, gazing upon Andromeda's chalk-white face, into her frenzied eyes. People left, driven by things too huge or too deep for her to even conceive. And they left her alone. The flames flared into the hearth, spitting the Burke sisters into their hollow home, and Meda stepped out of the room without a second glance, Cara hot on her heels. Cissy's legs gave way. She sank onto the soft, thick carpet, faintly aware of the hard pannelled floor beneath her knees.

"Cissy." She looked up into Cassie's anxious grey eyes. "Cissy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It doesn't change anything," she heard herself mumble.

"I know." Cassie's arms wrapped and tightened around her like a cage, her hair brushing her face with a scent that was sweet and unfamiliar. Narcissa did not relax, kneeling against the hard floor with achingly empty hands, but she felt hot, sour tears burning her eyes.

She gave in, since she could cry still.


	5. Good Times Gonna Come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the fifth chapter. Lots of angsty stuff there – hopefully it's not too overdone. Oh well, it's your job to let me know, after all ;P
> 
> Title is from -gasp- not The Killers. It's from the Aqualung song, which I love SO MUCH. It happened to fit the mood here ;)

"Mother's worried that we're going to be late," Bellatrix informed her, leaning against the threshold.

Narcissa didn't look up from her trunk. "We'll be fine."

"Meda's taking ages too... honestly. We won't even have time for breakfast."

"We can grab something to eat on the way."

Bella snorted. "Well I won't be there."

"I know, Bella." Narcissa's eyes scanned her room anxiously, hoping she hadn't forgotten anything.

"Girls!" From downstairs, Druella's voice sounded shrill, edgy.

"We're coming," Cissy groaned, walking back to the mirror to check her hair.

"You look good, Cissy."

"No, I don't." Her face was white, scattered with a few spots she could fight back with enchanted cream, but that still damaged the smoothness of her complexion – her eyes were heavy with dark rings, and her hair looked like it had lost some of its shine. She turned away.

" _Girls!_ "

"Merlin, you'd better hurry up before she has a stroke," Bella sighed.

"On my way." Narcissa straightened up with a determined glint in her eye, and strode out of her bedroom.

She descended the stairs first, looking straight ahead – but then she froze, a strangled gasp flying from her lips that Bellatrix echoed behind her, for their father was standing just a few feet away, looking pale and grim, yet very tangibly _there_.

"Father!" Narcissa flew down the staircase, breezing past her motionless mother as she threw herself into her father's arms. He staggered in surprise, but caught her, and she bit her lip hard, burying her face into his shoulder and inhaling the scent of his cologne avidly. She couldn't remember a time when she'd hugged one of her parents with such abandon, nor could she think of a reason to let go – he was back, he was _back_ – and for the first time in as long as she could recall, she absolutely didn't care about restraint, propriety or anything of the sort.

"Narcissa," he muttered uncomfortably against her hair, awkwardly holding her. For a second she just tightened her embrace, and then came to her senses. She took a step back, freeing him, pushing her hair back from her flushed face, and looked up into his eyes.

"We missed you," she mouthed.

His fingers brushed her cheek, his face faraway, gaze elusive. "I know."

"Father!" came a cry from the stairs, and as Andromeda was rushing towards them, Cissy realized that she was standing in the way. Unwillingly, she stepped aside, yet Meda stopped a little before reaching Cygnus, hovering, as though she were scared that if she touched him, he might disappear.

"Hello, Andromeda," he said, some fleeting warmth underlying his tone, and she took the last two steps, hugging him briefly, but fiercely. She kept staring into his face as she pulled away, her expression grave, worried.

"Are you staying?" she asked boldly.

Narcissa heard Druella's sharp intake of breath, and watched her father's tense mouth pull up into a short-lived, pained smirk. "Where would you have me go?" he replied, and then added rapidly: "I belong next to my girls."

Cissy stole a glance at Bellatrix. She was standing very still, her face betraying no emotion, just following Cygnus' every move with her eyes, taking everything in. Meda's hand curled around her father's and held it tight, and Druella cleared her throat. "We are going to be late," she said evenly.

Cygnus glanced at his watch. "Actually, Druella, for once I think we _are_ late." He spoke her name clearly, as if nothing had happened at all, or as if it meant little more than any word. Her face twisted ever so briefly, and then was smooth again. Bellatrix bit her lip, and Meda's shoulders tensed. "We should be off then, I suppose," he continued.

"Girls, I'll have Freezy add a snack in your trunks," Druella said shortly. "I will be right back."

There was slight discomfort in the air as they were left with their father. Bellatrix was seemingly fighting to control her restlessness, and Meda quietly asked, "How are you?"

Cygnus' answering smile was small and distinctively bittersweet, and Cissy thought he had hardly ever been this honest with them before.

"Home, my dear," he said. "That is all that matters."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Goodbye, Mother." Narcissa tried not to feel sharp bones and an unresponsive stance as she hugged her mother briefly, thinking hard of perfume and soft fabric and ever-flawless, ever-reassuring elegance. It was no easy task.

"Take care of yourself," she heard Andromeda murmur as they were both pulling away. Unlike Druella, Cygnus actually responded, "Likewise," faking a tiny smile for his middle daughter's sake. There was a short-lived spark of complicity between the two, and Narcissa felt a biting surge of jealousy, which she held back. It was with caution that she hugged her father next, a young lady again and not a candid, passionate child. He held her briefly and then let go, not speaking – and she didn't say "goodbye," either. She brushed his hand, and avoided his gaze.

When she turned around, Bella was leaning against Meda's trolley, her face smooth, and she flashed a tiny smile. "I'll walk you inside," she suggested casually, and Druella didn't object, as she normally would have. The sisters walked away, leaving their parents behind, trying not to glance back.

"You will write," Andromeda said as they were heaving their trunks onto the train.

"I'll see if I have time – " she started.

"You _will_ write," Meda repeated cuttingly, "you _will_ find time. You will take care of Father for me, and – well, watch over Mother, I suppose. You will think of us everyday. You will come to visit at Hogsmeade, and – " she hesitated. "You _will_ take care of yourself. No matter what it is you're up to."

Bella nodded solemnly. "I'll do my best. You'll take care of yourself, too. Oh, and of our princess." She turned towards Cissy with a smile. "Make sure she doesn't run off with Lucius Malfoy."

Meda laughed. "I will."

"Very funny," Narcissa muttered.

Bellatrix snorted. "I have to go now," she said. "Love you, you know." She kissed Meda's cheek, then Cissy's forehead, before breezing out of the train. She was gone before Cissy could speak a word – not that she knew what she could have added.

There was a beat of silence.

"Well," Meda said shortly then, "I'm off, myself."

Narcissa's head shot up. "I'm sorry?"

Meda raised an eyebrow. "I'm going to go find my friends, Cissy."

Narcissa opened her mouth as if to say "But...", and then shut it again. So they wouldn't be sticking together. They'd face the storm alone, start the new year alone. That was fine by her, she told herself. "All right," she uttered.

Andromeda shot her a tiniest smile, and then strode away. Cissy opened the first compartment door she found, numbly, and collapsed on a seat. All right.

She could do this.

She would have to.

Narcissa closed in on herself, leaning her head against the window. The train was just leaving the station, and foreign faces flashed by, quicker and quicker, until they all blurred and disappeared behind. Cissy's eyes traced the shapes of the countryside before her, the colours vivid and blinding. It was a restless, dizzying race, and she ended up shutting her lids.

"Hey, Cissy."

Narcissa jumped. Cassie Burke was leaning against the door of her compartment, her trunk beside her. "Thought I'd join you," she commented as she let herself in, settling close to her blond friend. "You're not looking too cheerful."

"Cassie?" Narcissa spoke slowly, distantly, her eyes on the window again as she carefully rejected the memories of helplessness that came with that voice and that quiet presence. "I don't want you here."

Cassandra cocked an eyebrow. "Really? And why not?"

"Obviously, because I want to be alone," Cissy responded, wishing she would get up and leave already, disappear.

Cassie only snorted. "You're not going to, darling," she said. "First, because it's no good. You may believe that you'll be all nice and in control if you can just speak to no one, but that is a mistake, and a very common one at that, if I may so add. Second... because there's gossip all over this train, and it'll catch up with you at some point, like it or not."

Narcissa felt cold. "People know?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Alcyone was positively glowing with glee."

Cissy closed her eyes tightly again, and saw flashes of Bella's face, of Meda's. She had to do this alone. That much was obvious. It... just... was.

"Meda's locked herself with Cara somewhere," Cassie went on. "They can face anything, I guess. But you, alone, you can't."

Cissy's eyes snapped open. "This is how it is, then?" she hissed, suddenly murderous. "The Burkes are here to babysit the Blacks?"

"Do not be absurd. It doesn't suit you," Cassie calmly replied.

"Listen to me," Narcissa snapped. "Meda might run to your sister all she wants, but I am different. And I don't need you."

"Meda needs Cara to escape."

"To escape us?" Narcissa realized that her voice was getting shriller by the minute.

Cassie stared steadily at her. "Sometimes, yes, in a way. I'm not quite sure you realize everything that's going on, Cissy."

"Don't you think you know them better than me!" Cissy had straightened up, eyes blazing with rage. "I want you to leave, now. Get away from me. You don't know anything, do you hear me? You know _nothing_ about me or my sisters."

Cassandra was quiet for a while. "Don't do this, Cissy," she said eventually, softly. "It's stupid and it won't help you. Anger won't help."

" _Get away_."

Just as Cassie was getting up, the door of their compartment opened again. Cissy glanced up, and something twisted in her chest: Alcyone Nott stood there, smirking, flanked by her usual cronies, Smith and Stevens.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Alcyone called in a sickeningly saccharine voice. "Hello, girls."

"Hello, Alcyone," Cassie said with a sarcastic smirk, tossing her hair back.

"Hello," Narcissa said coldly, distantly.

Alcyone's smile widened. "I came to see if you wanted a nice hug, _Cissy_. Heavens know you'd need one, I can't _imagine_ what you must be going through. To picture my father staining the family's reputation with such impudence..." She sighed, sugary sweet with fake compassion.

"I am quite fine, thank you for your concern," Cissy said dryly.

"Oh yes, you Black sisters are quite the fighters, aren't you?" Alcyone commented. "Bellatrix has seemed pretty smug since she's got the Lestrange heir in her clutches, but I couldn't but notice that dear Andromeda didn't seem that happy, when I saw her on my way here. She was all but fleeing from her delightful boyfriend. I do wonder why that is." She giggled. "She should be careful. A prettier girl could steal him while she's busy acting haughty to keep up appearances."

"Is this all you came to say?" Narcissa interrupted.

Alcyone looked mock-shocked.

"But Narcissa, dear, do not speak so harshly – it is most unbecoming! What will become of you if you toss away every single friend you might have? Two years ago you might have pulled off the martyr princess face, but by now... I am afraid you have little reason left to believe yourself superior."

Cissy was on her feet before she knew what had come over her. "Out," she snarled.

Alcyone laughed flippantly. "Oh, little Cissy is showing her claws! What's the matter, dear? Worried words and haughty attitudes might not to enough to shield you anymore, or do you just miss your lovely face?"

She felt herself launching forward, and heard Cassie's cry of "No!". The girls all shrieked, leaping back, and there was a restraining hold around her waist, so she writhed and clawed. She felt flesh underneath her nails, and her audience screamed. "She's gone mad!" Alcyone hollered. "Let's run!"

Then they were out, and she was free. Shock made Narcissa stagger, her own actions seemed distorted and surreal, making no sense, her self-control but a distant memory – and she looked up at Cassie, who stared back at her, pale hand on her scratched, bleeding cheek and disbelief in her eyes. Their gazes remained locked a few seconds, and then Cissy turned away, collapsing on her seat.

"Go," she mumbled, facing the wall. Cassie picked up her trunk, and walked out, without a word.

Tears blurred Narcissa's vision. She willed to hold them back, digging her already blood-stained nails into her palms – and was defeated.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

News had travelled fast. Fixed stares followed Narcissa all the way to the Great Hall, hushed whispers blossoming behind her back.

"What the hell?" Andromeda hissed, leaping up from her seat at the sight of her. "This is so unlike you, Cissy! And _what_ did you do to Cassie?"

Narcissa shook her head. "Bella would be so proud," she murmured, sinking into the first free seat she found.

Meda's eyes blazed. "Well, I am most certainly not. And I am not quite sure that she's much of an example for you right now."

Cissy shook her head. "Whatever." Cassie walked by and went to sit beside Cara. Alcyone glared at her, whispering ferociously, and Lucius Malfoy walked into the room, elegant as ever, holding hands with some girl from his year, a Bulstrode –

Cissy looked away. Meda was still staring her down.

"Get a grip, Cissy. I hardly recognize you," she said harshly.

"Likewise," Narcissa snapped.

Meda, fuming, whirled and strode away.

Narcissa swallowed, summoning numbness – the numbness that was starting, as it seemed, to become her companion, the numbness that didn't feel good, but proved, at least – _controllable_. It was easy to stop caring, to tell herself that she'd never liked Cassie that much anyway, that Meda was acting weird and it was all _her fault_ , that she was a Black, she was Narcissa Black, she was as close to untouchable as one could get. She composed her face, cool and smooth, ignored the glances and the glares and the whispers – she focused on the dancing flames of the candles, on the shadows and the glints on the golden plates, on the shade of Dumbledore's beard and the patterns on his robes. It was all flickering and warm around her, gold and lights and human heat as people laughed and pressed together, and she did not glance at the starry skies overhead. Slowly, she lowered her gaze to her plate.

Lightly, almost artfully, she brushed the blade of her knife against a steak. Her wrist turned, and she stabbed.

It bled brownish crimson juices, flesh torn open, bare, soft, red.

Her moves precise and, at first, slow – she stabbed it again, and again, and again.

She didn't look up once.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A giggle, high and deliciously girlish, echoed down the hallway.

"Lucius, really!"

The boy chuckled, brushing back a straying strand of his white-blond hair. "I must go on my round."

"I'd say, " the girl agreed breathlessly, "and I must go back to the common room. Preferably before you get too carried away and decide to try my virtue."

"I would do no such thing," he gasped. "I'll see you when I get back?"

"You might. If not... good night."

"Good night."

They indulged in a brief parting kiss, before she flitted across the corridor, fair hair dancing on her shoulder, and he walked away, smirking.

The coast was clear.

Narcissa took the time to slow down her breathing, steady her racing heart. The wall against her back was cold and the shadows slowly shifting. If she didn't hurry, _she_ would be the one still pacing the hallways at ungodly hours. And she did most certainly not wish for a prefect – any prefect – to catch her in such a situation.

Slowly, she stepped out of the alcove she'd been huddled in and then started walking towards the library, her strides long and brisk.

The corridors were getting chilly at that time of the year, especially in the dungeons, and Narcissa walked faster. What a blessing, to be alone at that moment, spared the humiliation of eyes on her flushed face, spared awkward words – any words. Any words, any presence at all, any outsider claiming to catch a glimpse of her world, really. Any gaze, any judgment. The cold was seeping into her bones, and mechanically, she brushed a slim hand along her collarbone, then pulled her hair back to shield her swan neck. She was almost there. Just a bit of research, for that assignment she had that was due so soon, and then she could hurry back, drop her notes somewhere for Cassie to find, and curl into bed.

She strode past Madam Pince, hastening past shelves and shelves of books, heading straight for the Potions section.

"Yes – I did it."

The voice, coming unexpected, made Narcissa freeze as though petrified. It was low, almost broken, and heavy with sobs. And it was Andromeda's.

Unthinkingly, Cissy took a few steps in the direction it was coming from, hovering in the shadows. From where she was, she could peer at Andromeda, but she could also hide quickly, if her sister happened to look her way. That much hardly seemed likely; Meda's face was hidden in her hands, out of sight. She was huddled on a chair, shaking and rocking herself slowly. Narcissa nearly crossed the distance between them to grab her and hold her tightly, yet she inched back as someone she could not quite see – probably Rabastan – brushed the back of her hand lightly, soothingly. She leaned away, shaking.

"How could I... how could I..." she muttered without taking her breath, sounding almost delirious.

"Calm down," the boy beside her said, and Cissy frowned. His voice was unfamiliar – certainly not Rabastan's. Had her sister broken up, then?

Meda gave a tormented little cry. "How do you want me to _calm down?_ "

"Pince's going to hear us, quiet!" he urged. Anxious, he glanced over his shoulder, and Cissy quickly stepped back.

Pressed against the shelf, she listened to her sister's soft whimpering and the boy's soothing, confused hushes, her heart hammering.

The face was unfamiliar. But of one thing she was positive: this _person_ was no pureblood.

_No, Meda. Meda, what did you do?_

Narcissa breathed deeply, in and out, feeling her ribcage slowly rise and fall before glancing at the pair again. Meda was still trembling, but it looked like the... _boy_... was slowly managing to bring her to her senses. She was shaking her head, though, fiercely. And then she did something that turned Cissy's blood to ice in her veins: she pressed both of her hands flatly, tightly against her stomach, in a gesture that left no room for doubt. Then a soft, strangled sound came from deep in the back of her throat, and the boy stood and wrapped her in his arms.

She clung to him, muffling sobs into the fabric of his robes.

Narcissa ran away, light-headed, nausea and horror saturating her whole body.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Confronting Andromeda was becoming more and more of a necessity with each passing day. Narcissa kept bracing herself, kept watching for her sister's every move. She couldn't help but stare at her belly sometimes, as well, and then she would quickly glance away, her heart hammering. She dreamed of it at night, dreamed it would expand, turn her sibling into someone else. Someone traitorous, someone _filthy_. _No_ – she woke up shaking sometimes, moaning for her sister without breath, and slid her hands over her own flat stomach, her sharp hipbones, her cool, smooth, angular, pure and untouched flesh. _This just couldn't be happening, right –_

"Meda?" she called, voice clear and devoid of shadows.

Andromeda jumped, startled.

It was getting late, and there weren't many people left in the common room but the two of them. Andromeda had been doing homework, and Cissy had been reading, or trying to read anyway – waiting until the time was right.

If it ever could be.

"Can I talk to you?" she prompted, sitting in an armchair opposite her sister.

"Sure, just go ahead and take a seat," Meda said sarcastically, and then softened. "It's been a while since you just came to say hi."

"Um, yes." Before Narcissa could add anything, Meda asked: "How's this year going for you?"

She winced. "Not bad," she said. "It's... interesting."

Meda didn't seem to buy it. "You still aren't on very good terms with Cassie, are you?"

"Yes, I am. We work together – in class. That's all I'm asking for," she said curtly. Then she cleared her throat, side-tracked. "How are things with you?"

Meda smiled. "Oh, they're fine. Sixth year is really quite demanding, but I like it."

"I see. How's Rabastan?" she inquired.

Andromeda's lips tightened at that. "I have no idea," she said shortly. "We've grown apart in the past few months. I think he might want to see someone else..."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Cissy interjected, trying to sound properly surprised. "But do _you_ have somebody else in sight?"

"No," Meda replied, one beat too quickly. "I'll see at the next ball, I guess."

 _Liar_ , snarled a voice in Cissy's mind.

"You can talk to me, you know," she pushed. "I'm not going to tell."

Meda cocked an eyebrow, suddenly looking suspicious. "I just told you that I didn't have anyone."

"Come on." Cissy anxiously glanced over her shoulder once. "Look, I know, okay?" she said in a rush. "I know everything."

Meda had turned whiter than bone. "What in the name of Salazar are you talking about?"

"I know you're with someone you shouldn't be with!" Cissy blurted, "and I know you've done bad things!"

"Cissy. I am with no one," Meda said, her voice vacant. A vein was jumping, pulsing, flickering on her white temple, racing with the frantic beating of her heart, and then she leaned forward and her hair shielded part of her face. "I have no clue what you're talking about. You're freaking me out, honestly."

"I'm talking about the Mudblood boy," she hissed. "And the baby you're carrying. His baby," she muttered under her breath, the word searing her lips and casting a deadly chill down her spine.

Meda gasped. "Cissy!" She was staring at her, through her, eyes wide and wild. "What – _how?_ "

She bit her lip hard. "I heard a conversation. Between the two of you," she said in a whisper.

Andromeda tried hard to calm herself, clutching her armrest with one livid hand. "I am not with him!" she hissed frantically, "and – I am not – with child!"

Cissy's temper flared. "Stop lying," she growled. "Stop lying, I'm sick of it!"

"Narcissa, I'm not going to have a child," her sister uttered desperately. "It's over. And I am _not_ with Ted."

Cissy's heart quickened, feeling like it was about to burst out of her small chest. "You promise?" she murmured. "You're not pregnant?"

"No!" Meda snapped. She was glaring at her now, irate and close to tears. "How could you?" she whispered harshly. "How could you spy on me like that? How _could you_ imagine that I was going around carrying some Mudblood's offspring?"

"I heard – " she started, but Meda cut her off vehemently.

"I don't care! Why me? You never saw anything that was really, actually going on with Father or even Bella, and you just randomly start following me around and coming up with vicious stories about _me?_ What the hell did I ever do to you, Cissy?"

"I didn't mean – "

"Shut up," Meda growled, looking almost deranged. "I don't want to hear from you anymore. I'm done. Just leave me alone, Miss _Perfection_. And don't you _dare_ stalk me ever again."

Leaping from her seat, she was out of the room before Cissy had the time to even part her frozen lips to shout her name.


	6. Don't Shoot Me Santa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from the song by... yeah, The Killers. Cookies to those who guessed.
> 
> Just one more chapter, and then this fic will be over... hope you all enjoy! (There is a sequel though.)

Narcissa stood in a corner of the great dining room, very quiet.

Nobody had arrived yet. It would be time for the Christmas meal soon, though. Very soon. The glasses were perfectly arranged, the cutlery shining in flawless order, a kind of avidity in their polished, glinting surface that made Narcissa's stomach flip. _Seize me_. She pressed her hands tighter together.

"Hello, Narcissa."

She started, her heart leaping rather violently in her chest. "Uncle Alphard!" she exclaimed then, stepping forward to greet him. He chuckled and kissed her cheek.

"What a delightful welcome. My, you certainly have grown, little one. When I last saw you you were a child still... Now... you're a lady, if a tiny, skinny one."

He winked at her, and her cheeks flamed with embarrassment. "It's good to see you again, too," she said politely.

He chuckled. "I've brought presents for the lot of you. I just love to spoil my nieces and nephews, do I not? What a lucky bunch."

"That's great." Narcissa smiled.

"Uncle Alphard!" A mighty shout came from the doorway, and Sirius ran inside, jumping into the man's arms. Nine was too old to be coddled this way, Narcissa considered, but Alphard seemed only too happy to indulge in his favourite nephew's enthusiasm, and she turned lightly, glancing at the great pendulum clock. Almost time. The wait was as much of a relief as it was a torture, time closing in on her.

"Have you brought presents? Have you?" Sirius squealed excitedly, pulling on Alphard's sleeve, and Cissy frowned, nervously brushing a hand against her hair. Where was Walburga when the blasted woman was actually needed, she found herself thinking, turning slightly on her heel, her gaze flickering quickly, this way and that.

"You'll see them later, hush," Alphard chuckled.

"What is he going to see, Uncle Alphard?" Regulus had just skidded into the room, rushing forward and anxiously pushing against his brother. "I want to see, I want to see, too! I want presents!"

"Regulus, really," Druella's voice chided from the doorway, light, though weary.

"It's fine, Druella," Alphard laughed, ruffling Regulus' hair. "How are you?"

Narcissa tensed slightly, taking a step back. "Very well, and yourself?" Druella had responded with a tight smile, and Andromeda slid into the room after her, grinning, briefly, at her uncle and cousins. They all stood in a loose grouping, casual and collected, and the image seemed to blur around the edges.

"Never been better. There's nothing like family!" Alphard commented, and she _might_ have imagined the wry undertone of his voice, then again she might not – it was Alphard, notoriously childless, straying widower, rebel of their parents' generation – and her restless, happy cousins were pressing against him, giggling and babbling, so she _had_ probably imagined it. Andromeda took one very random step closer to her, and Cissy faked another smile, quick, with a crooked arch. The doors flung open again.

"Merry Christmas, everybody," called two solemn voices, and Cissy automatically curtseyed to the old ladies: Grandmother Irma, who was Pollux's wife, and Cousin Melania – more precisely their first cousin twice removed, by marriage – who was Arcturus'.

"Merry Christmas, Melania – merry Christmas, Irma," Druella replied, bowing her head to them, and the young chorused: "Merry Christmas, Grandmother!"

The ladies nodded benignly to them. "How they have grown," Irma said, surveying her grandchildren. "The girls are young women now."

"Indeed," said Druella pleasantly.

The clock struck one then, and everybody unthinkingly straightened up; it was time. Right on cue, there were footsteps in the hall, announcing the most important part of the family's arrival.

Arcturus walked in first, and raised his wand; the bell sounded then, and the whole lot of them gathered around the table, in response to the signal. Then came Pollux, Cygnus, Orion and Walburga. They all stood behind their seats as Arcturus slowly made his way to the head of the table. Then he cleared his throat, his gaze sweeping upon the family, eyebrows raised.

Bellatrix was late.

The wait was very short-lived; within seconds there was the sound of rushed footsteps from the hall, and Bella breezed into the room. "My apologies," she said breathlessly.

"No matter. Take your seat," Arcturus said in a strict tone, and she obliged.

"Children and wives of the Black family," the patriarch then spoke, his booming voice echoing all along the table, against the walls and within their listening heads, "like every year we are gathered here, in our family mansion, to celebrate Christmas, the ending of this year, and welcome the arrival of a new one. It is with great pride that I gaze upon my heirs' faces and know that the Black family lives on, ever pure. _Toujours Pur,_ may these words always shape your lives, my sons and daughters!"

There was a flash across the table, and every glass was filled to the brim with dark, lazily glinting Burgundy wine. Arcturus raised his own, and they all toasted, murmuring "Toujours Pur". The alcohol's sweet, yet earthy flavour saturated Narcissa's mouth, and the liquor filled her throat with warmth. Regulus was having trouble not to gag, she noticed dimly as they all sat down. To his relief, but Sirius' dismay, the wine in the underage's glasses was transfigured into water immediately after the toast. Cissy took a small sip, letting the smooth liquid clear her mouth, before she set her glass down and lowered her eyes upon the food that had appeared in her plate.

"How the young ones have grown indeed," Melania commented just as Cissy was delicately pricking a piece of her smoked salmon entrée with her fork. "Bellatrix, you have graduated Hogwarts by now, is that correct?"

"Indeed it is, Cousin Melania," Bella responded coolly.

"And how many NEWTs did you obtain?"

"Five. Transfiguration, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy and Runes." There was a slight smirk playing at the corner of Bella's mouth as she uttered the word "Defence", Cissy noticed detachedly as she chewed slowly and carefully, and this hadn't escaped Meda's attention either, for she glanced briefly at their older sister, and then away.

"How lovely," Irma said. "And what about your engagement to the Lestrange heir? When will the wedding be scheduled?"

Bella visibly tensed. "We don't know yet, Grandmother. Now that our engagement is secured, we thought we could perhaps give it some time. Rodolphus is getting quite the nice position at the Ministry..."

"He will ascend all the quicker, once married," Melania pointed out. "You have been a maiden out of Hogwarts for a few months now. It would certainly be wise not to delay any further."

"Not to worry," Druella intervened pleasantly, "we will see to it that a date is set shortly."

Cygnus nodded, and Irma smiled.

"Well then. How about you, Andromeda?" she asked. "Do you have anyone in sight? I heard rumours of you and the youngest Lestrange brother?"

"We have certainly been courting," Meda responded a bit too quickly. Narcissa glanced up.

"And do you think it might turn into an engagement?" Melania inquired.

Meda flushed. "I do not know, quite honestly. I am... not sure... what he thinks about it."

Bellatrix snorted, but then hastily took a bite to deflect attention. Meda glared daggers at her, and Melania slowly raised an eyebrow.

"I still maintain that it has been a mistake for the family not to attend the Christmas ball, as far as the girls are concerned," Walburga spoke arrogantly, and Druella suppressed a wince. "It would surely have sped things up, for Bellatrix and Andromeda alike."

"And let's not forget the third girl," Melania added.

While her sisters had been in the hot seat, Narcissa had dutifully swallowed half of her portion of smoked salmon, and arranged the rest so that it looked like the tiniest leftovers – nothing worth the slightest criticism. Now, conveniently, the time had come to move on to the next course, and she set her fork down, smiling coolly and not paying attention to her plate's next contents.

"Narcissa isn't fifteen yet," Druella commented, "she will make her entrance into society and find her first suitors next year, at the Christmas ball we shall be hosting at the manor."

"I see," replied Melania. "The last of the young Black ladies. You must be quite excited."

"Very," Narcissa chirped, taking that as her cue to speak. She focused her gaze upon Melania, not quite looking into her eyes so that she wouldn't be overly intimidated, nor appear too bold, yet close enough for propriety's sake.

"She's a lovely girl," Irma commented distantly, "worthy and interested young men shouldn't be too difficult to find. You seem to have brought her up well, Druella. At any rate, she is much like you."

"Quite lady-like already," Melania agreed. "A bit on the thin side, though, perhaps."

Cissy's cheeks burned red at that, and slight anger sparked within her chest, yet she carefully kept her grip. As she was being talked _about_ , not to, it was evidently time to acknowledge the foie gras that lay, aesthetically arranged on toasts, in her plate. As she turned her head, her gaze accidentally caught Alphard's, and he held it with something of a quizzical warmth in his eye, one brow very slightly cocked. She tossed a smile his way, and conspicuously cut a piece of the luxurious food – it fell smoothly under the knife's blade – before sliding it into her mouth. He didn't glance away.

"She is still young, Melania," Druella was saying, "you don't expect her to have grown into her figure quite yet, do you?"

"She looks quite nice, regardless," Irma inserted, "the small doll type, I'd say."

Bellatrix had a small, defiant laugh with an edge of anger to it. "Cissy's the prettiest of us all," she threw in – the _lie_ tasted foul and fat, like a foreign thing stirring lazily in her insides, and Narcissa had the sudden urge to get up and run. Meda shifted on her seat, and Walburga emitted a slow chuckle.

"What a delight, this household of girls," she drawled casually, and Druella seemed to tense, as Cygnus glanced up, gaze dark and unreadable.

Alphard chuckled. "Ah, the old gender rivalry," he said mockingly. "Shall I be arbitrator?"

Walburga shook her head with a small smile. "I would rather say 'neutral witness', dear brother," she amended.

"So be it, then, if you say so," sighed Alphard dramatically.

"Are you planning to stay in the country for longer this time, by the way, Alphard?" Druella asked.

"Ah, who knows," he replied. "I have no journey planned, and England seems rather appealing to me as of late... But I might change my mind and leave again within the week. The curse of travelling is a commanding and everlasting one..."

"We want you to stay!" Sirius cried out, his eyes widening.

"Sirius, do not speak out of turn. And certainly not with your mouth full, young man!" Walburga immediately chided, with a glare that made Sirius flinch and Regulus cower on his seat.

"It's all right, it's all right," Alphard soothed. "I would like to stay for a while, too. I missed my nephews and nieces."

"Where is it you were staying last, again, son?" Irma inquired a bit haughtily.

"Here and there," Alphard shot back with a shrug, "from France to Hungary. It was quite the thrilling trip. I could debate over some of it with my dear brother here, if he promises not to knock my brain out with International Law speech."

Cygnus snorted at that. "I've been mostly in touch with Germany and Poland myself," he replied.

"Oh, I've spent a month in Germany..."

By the time turkey was served, the conversation had fully veered off into politics – a level of politics specific enough to have Alphard just shrugging and sitting quietly, a wry smirk on his lips, and to make Bella, who, at first, had seemed to listen eagerly, scowl and turn away. As the men conversed, the women ate in silence, and Cissy focusedly cut, arranged, chewed and swallowed her way through the main course, careful to notice when she was being watched by one lady or another. Sirius, reckless as ever, was sneaking tiny pieces of meat from Regulus' plate into his own, and Narcissa saw to it that he would also get a few chunks from hers. At least she wouldn't get the blame if someone felt like telling them off.

Then it was time for Christmas pudding, in small quantities after the plentiful meal, and Narcissa picked on her helping, waiting for the first occasion to leave the table. As the impending delivery of presents was challenging Sirius' ability to behave himself, said occasion came soon. Cissy dutifully smiled and thanked as she was spoiled with dresses, valuable jewellery and books. Alphard had brought her fine silken gloves from Italy, Bella accessories for her hair – and Meda, beside a book, had given her _sweets_.

Before she had the time to properly thank her sisters, actually, the pair of them had run off somewhere.

Cissy checked around her. Arcturus, Pollux, Cygnus and Orion had already retired, probably to continue their discussion where they had left it off. Druella was busy discussing clothing with Melania and Irma, and Walburga was watching with pursed lips as Alphard showered Sirius and Regulus with odd gifts from all over Europe. Nobody was paying the slightest attention to her. The coast was clear.

Narcissa hurried up the staircase and through the empty corridors, wondering where her sisters might be. Number 12, Grimmauld Place was a rather gloomy mansion, less luminous and welcoming than the manor they lived in with her parents and sisters, and Cissy thought it was in dire need of some redecorating. She might have made a few suggestions, if the lady of the house had been anyone but Walburga. As it was, she merely averted her gaze as she passed a row of shrunken house-elf heads. How tasteless.

The first floor housed the great drawing room with the family tapestry, and Uncle Orion's study; it was quite likely to accommodate the elders' discussions, but not her sisters'. Scoffing under her breath, Cissy moved on to the second floor, where she found herself in front of several doors. She tried the handles: all of them were empty rooms, save one, which simply refused to move. She was turning away, scowling, when she heard something that startled her: the sound of muffled yelling, coming from this very room.

Narcissa pressed her ear against the door, but it had visibly been charmed so that the words and voices coming through would be distorted beyond recognition. She tried the wall, which proved too thick for eavesdropping. Cissy growled in frustration. Her sisters were inside, probably having a screaming match, and she was the one locked in the corridor. It wasn't even remotely surprising to her, which didn't make the fact any less hurtful. She paced the small space, her stomach churning.

Abruptly, the door was torn open, and Bellatrix flew out, running right into Cissy. Losing balance, the young girl fell to her knees, the breath knocked out of her. For a minute Bella hovered, seeming to hesitate between helping her to her feet and glaring bloody murder at her – perhaps even kicking her as she was down. But then her sister just stormed off, and Narcissa stood slowly, legs aching and heart hammering.

She limped into the room, as Meda was sending an owl.

At the sound of her entrance, Andromeda whirled around, unable to suppress a cry of alarm. Cissy winced and her sister, catching herself, spoke tonelessly:

"Ah. It's you."

"Yes," Cissy muttered, leaning against the threshold uncomfortably.

"Did you see Bella?"

"'See' isn't exactly the word I would choose. Who were you writing to?"

"That's none of your business, Narcissa," Andromeda spat, abruptly murderous.

Cissy raised an eyebrow. _Narcissa._ Right.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Andromeda muttered.

"It was getting boring downstairs. And I didn't get a chance to say thank you for the presents."

Andromeda snorted. "You're welcome."

"Did you like mine?"

"The bracelet, or the framed picture?"

"Both."

Meda met her gaze. "Both were very pretty, Cissy."

There was a beat of silence.

"Enjoy the sweets," Meda said absent-mindedly. "I thought a bit of sugar might do you good. You look like a bag of bones, Cissy."

"Thank you," Narcissa said coolly.

"I'm going downstairs. There's no need for you to follow."

"I won't."

Meda rushed out, running away like a thief – except that Cissy was the one left behind with the stolen sweets.

"Merry Christmas, Narcissa," she whispered, and tossed a Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean towards the window.

It rebounded and fell, small and brightly-coloured, at her feet.


	7. Never Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is officially finished! I will publish the sequel Sentimental Hearts shortly, though.   
> Chapter title is from Sting's song.

"Cissy? Can we talk?"

Narcissa whirled around, her heart leaping wildly in her chest. Her sister was facing her, pale and determined, and a choking feeling of impending doom threatened to take over her. She fought to calm herself.

"Sure," she responded, careful to only allow surprise to show through. Without another word, Meda led her to her year's dormitory. The room was empty, and the sisters went to sit on Andromeda's bed; the latter shut the curtains around them and muttered a spell, probably to prevent eavesdropping. Sitting with her legs curled under her against her sister's headboard, Narcissa felt distinctively claustrophobic.

"So what did you want to talk about?" she asked quickly.

Meda frowned, turning to face her and running a hand through her hair.

"Bella," she muttered, "I wanted to talk about Bella, actually."

Narcissa felt a rush of relief, so sudden and intense it left her almost light-headed. _Cassie hadn't told._ "Oh," she murmured. "Are you still... worried about her...?" She left the sentence hanging, slightly unsure. It still wasn't quite clear to her why anyone would be worried about their elder sister.

"Yes," Meda exhaled in an angry, frustrated breath. "She... she doesn't talk to me anymore. She _lies_ , and it's driving me crazy! I think... I really think she's getting caught into bad things, and there's nothing I can do." Jaw tight, she traced a pattern on the covers with her fingertip. "And I won't be next," she muttered.

"Next for what?" Cissy asked, troubled.

Andromeda blinked, seeming to snap back into reality. "Oh," she murmured. "Oh, I don't know. I don't even _know!_ Bella expects me to be like her, to think like her, and yet she won't even tell me the truth... I... and I don't want to get married, Cissy. We're going home soon, and then it'll be seventh year, I'll be of age in December and the family's going to want me engaged... And I don't want Rabastan anymore – neither does he, he thinks I'm a stupid little girl from what I could gather – but I don't want to be married off to some stranger!"

Andromeda's voice had almost pitched into a scream by that point, and Narcissa automatically cringed back, not knowing an answer to that rebellious, impassioned side of her sister. She shyly reached an icy, shaky hand, but Meda, who was hugging herself tightly, did not seem to notice.

"Meda," she murmured, "you'll find someone..."

"And spend my life decorating their home and bringing up their children? I don't want to!" Andromeda cried with a short, hysterical fit of laughter. "Only you could find yourself satisfied with that, Cissy! Bella won't – but – " She swallowed convulsively. "That can't be the only way out?" she muttered fiercely, shaking her head.

"Meda." Cissy was feeling cold, helpless – her sister was looking unreachable, the blurred, distortedly struggling shadow of a girl she had thought she knew well, and she was scared to reach out now, yet she wanted to, badly. She wanted to wrap her frail arms around her shoulders, and hold her _still_... "Meda... you still have time... You have all summer to talk to Bella, and you won't turn seventeen before six months anyway..." Her voice faltered and she fell quiet as Andromeda looked up at her.

"You don't get it," she whispered. "Let me spell it out for you, Cissy. _I. Don't. Want. This. Life._ "

Narcissa swallowed convulsively. "Neither does Bella," she muttered numbly.

Andromeda's mouth twisted, and she did not reply.

Cissy abruptly looked up. "Don't do anything stupid," she begged, "please."

Meda snorted. "Like what?"

"You... you've been sending lots of owls," Narcissa murmured feverishly, eyes trained on her pale hands in her lap. "Don't start hanging out with the wrong people... please? It'll only make things harder if Mother and Father find out."

There was a beat of silence.

"That's not the problem, Cissy," Andromeda said tonelessly. "The problem is me. I'm not what they want me to be."

"We love you the way you are," Narcissa blurted.

Andromeda stared oddly at her. "You're a doll, Cissy," she said, "but you don't want to see the way I am."

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************

The sun's bright glare blinded Narcissa for a minute, leaving her unsettled and confused, among the masses of students which were leaving the train. "Have a nice summer!" she heard Cassie call from behind her, and she muttered "You too," trying to get her bearings and push away from the crowd. At last she spotted Andromeda's head, and slipped her way towards her, grimacing as she was shoved and tossed about by the rushing students. Druella was waiting for them, her face smooth, alone.

"There you are, girls," she said. "We must hurry – I have important things to be doing after I take you home... Did you have a good year?"

"Amazing, Mother," Meda replied with heavy sarcasm in her voice.

"Very good, very good. Here, take my arms."

Narcissa grabbed hold of one of her mother's limbs, bracing herself before the unpleasant feeling of Apparition painfully squeezed her body. Light-headed, she saw stars and didn't let go at once, clinging to Druella with white fingers instead – but she was already striding forward, levitating her daughters' trunks as she went, and Cissy had to follow, dizzily.

"Your father and myself have been invited for tea at the Malfoys'," their mother explained as she hurried towards the manor. "Both socially and politically speaking this is quite the event. We must absolutely not be late." They walked in, and Druella whirled around, kissing each of them hastily on the cheek. "I will see you at dinner," she added as Cygnus was striding out of the drawing room towards them.

He stopped to kiss their cheeks, too. "Hello, girls," he said in his low baritone voice, and Cissy breathed into the scent of his cologne briefly, feeling a little warmer. And then, before they knew it, the front door had clicked shut and they were alone.

Andromeda went straight for the stairs, taking them two at a time, Cissy hurrying behind her; but instead of going to her room, she stepped into Bella's.

"Hi," she called, pausing at the door. Cissy had to peek inside from over her shoulder. Bella was just throwing a cloak on her shoulders. "Hey, Meda. Hey, Cissy," she replied, turning around.

"Are you going somewhere?" Meda asked suspiciously, taking one more step into the room.

"Oh, yes," Bellatrix said vaguely. "I'm off to see Rod."

"You see him all the time, Bella," Meda pointed out. "You haven't seen us for months."

"We have all summer together. This is important – I'll be back soon," Bella assured her impatiently, arranging her hair with a distracted look.

"Is it for the wedding?" Narcissa asked shyly.

Bellatrix laughed, taken off guard. "Merlin, no. Not yet. They're trying to set a date... and I'm trying to push it back..." She bit her lip.

"Why?" Andromeda said coldly.

"Why?" Bella repeated in disbelief. "I thought you of all people would understand, Meda."

"Not according to your behaviour I don't. You're already running to him all the time, already more of a Lestrange than a Black. The two of you are engaged, and it's going to happen soon anyway. What good is there in delaying?"

"I'll always be a Black, first and foremost," Bella hissed. Then she paused. "You're right though. Being married to Rod will make everything so much easier."

There was a pregnant pause, the tension making Cissy's neck prickle.

"Is there someone else?" Meda eventually asked, calmly, coldly.

Bellatrix jumped. "What? _No!_ Don't be absurd!" Whirling around, she glared into Meda's face, incensed. "Don't you dare. You're the one who probably cheated on a Lestrange boy, not _me!_ "

"Speaking of," Andromeda snarled, not even denying, "have you seen dear Rabastan recently? The two of you are still running with the same crowd, is that right?"

Bellatrix scoffed. "Too right. He's with Freya Yaxley, just so you know. They just got engaged."

"That's rather fast."

Bella had a short, savage laugh. "That's what one gets for leaving people high and dry, darling. You become replaceable."

Andromeda blinked in shock – and then she started laughing, too, the sound wild and almost unhinged. "Thank you, Bella," she said fiercely, "thank you. That's all I needed to hear."

She made to storm out of the room, but then paused, at the last minute, eyeing Narcissa, who couldn't but think of an actress on stage. "What do you think, Cissy?" she called defiantly.

Narcissa blinked. "What about?" was all she could utter.

Once again, Meda had a steel-hard laugh. "Oh, I love you, Cissy. Bella, you'd better take care of our clueless little princess."

With that, she kissed her quickly, on the temple, and ran off.

"What was that about? What did she mean?" Narcissa stammered, stunned.

"Nonsense. Whatever," Bella said irritably. "I'm running late." She blew past Cissy, as well.

Narcissa was left frozen in her sister's room, blinking in shock.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************

The flames slapped Narcissa, making her a bit dizzy, but she only pressed her palms harder against the marble fireplace, which was bruising her knees already, and called out in as clear a voice as she could manage:

"Excuse me? Cassie?"

Cassandra jumped, the book she'd been holding tumbling to the floor as she gasped: "Narcissa?"

"Hey, Cassie." Cissy swallowed. "I'm sorry – I know we've just got home and this is the oddest moment to Floo by, and certainly not the most convenient – and I know we haven't been that close this year and my calling you like that might seem a bit out of line, but I really, really need to talk to you. Can you come to the manor?"

Cassie didn't hesitate once. "Sure. I'll write Cara a note, and I'll be right there." Nodding, Cissy pulled back from the hearth.

Two minutes later, Cassie was surging from the fire and gripping her tightly by the shoulders, looking highly alarmed. "What is it?"

Narcissa bit her lip. Cassie's reaction seemed a bit overdone, and only reminded her of how ridiculous it was to run to her friend for comfort for such stupid reasons. Then again, it was nice to know that she could still count on someone.

"There was an argument," she muttered, "again. Bella and Meda quarrelled, and then Meda left..."

"No!" Cassie cut her off. Blinking, Narcissa stared at her. "Oh, Cissy, I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I swear Cara and I did our best, our very best to talk her out of it, and we thought we might have succeeded, but..." She paused, meeting Cissy's gaze with a guilty and upset look of her own.

"Hang on," Narcissa said slowly. "You tried to talk her out of what?"

Cassie gaped at her. "Leaving! You just told me she had left!"

"She ran out of the room. She's in her own now," Cissy said. Cassie staggered, seemingly at a loss for what to say. "She's in her bedroom," Narcissa repeated, louder. "Where did you think she'd go?"

Cassie blinked, biting her lip. "I'm sorry, Cissy. I... I guess I just got confused. With everything that's been going on..."

"What's been going on?" Narcissa hissed, fury and confusion gnawing at her insides. How could _Cassie_ know more than she did?

"But you know about it..." Cassie protested, looking faintly alarmed. "All the arguments with Bellatrix, who's getting into dark things... Her parents wanting to marry her off so badly... And then that time, with the baby, and that odd boy who consoled her..."

"The baby," Cissy repeated blankly. "She told me that there wouldn't be a baby." She was feeling colder and colder.

"Well, of course she got rid of it!" Cassie cried. "She... she..." She stopped right on her tracks, looking more and more panicked. "Wait. You mean she didn't tell you? You honestly didn't know?"

"How did _you_ know?" Narcissa uttered.

"She told Cara – but – " Cassie stopped again, tormented.

"She's in her room," Cissy whispered, "and I'm going to see her."

Turning around, she flew out of the drawing room and up the stairs, throwing Andromeda's door open without knocking. There was no one. Quiet rage seething in her insides, Cissy went to sit on the side of the bed. Her gaze caught a family picture in a frame, on the desk. It looked stiff and formal, and they all hated it. She glanced away.

There had been other, better pictures there, though.

Narcissa leapt to her feet and paced the room. One, two... three frames were gone. Where was Meda's cloak? Where was Meda's trunk?

She stopped by the desk. There was a piece of parchment lying there. _Bella and Cissy,_ it read at the top...

"Cassie," she heard herself call. "Cassie!" she screamed.

Her friend darted into the room and to her side, white-faced, looking terrified. "Oh no," she muttered.

" _Where did she go?_ "

"Cissy..."

"Where?"

Cassie bit her lip hard, eyes swimming with tears. "To that boy's," she whispered. "The Mudblood. She knows that you can't reach her there."

Narcissa could. Narcissa would have – but to what use? She shook, truth hitting her like a wave of vertigo. If Andromeda had decided to _leave – decided_ – she couldn't force her to change her mind. She couldn't even convince her – she knew her sister. Bella couldn't go, either – she would be liable to end up hurting someone. Too dangerous. And the family... if Meda had eloped with a Mudblood, the family would just turn their backs and _disown her –_

"No," she panted. "Why...?"

Cassie moved awkwardly to put her arms around her. Cissy pushed her away and whirled around to face her, eyes blazing.

"Why is she with him?" she spat. "What's going on? _How_ – how did she..." She winced, unable to finish.

For one second Cassie appeared torn, and then she seemed to reach a decision. "He caught her, with Cara, one day as they were heading back from Hogsmeade. He'd seen them meet someone, to get a potion... a potion they weren't supposed to have. He's a Prefect... He thought it was poison, and confiscated it. Meda came very close to cursing him, she was so frazzled. Then she just... told him the truth. She had nothing to lose – she needed the potion so badly. He gave it back to her once he understood that she was really honest. But he didn't stop at that. You know how some of those Mudbloods get – he wouldn't leave her alone, with his compassion all over the place, and at first she told him to mind his own business, but... she didn't have many people she could talk to, so she ended up letting him in. I think – and so does Cara – that he helped her pull herself out of it. Helped her to move on."

"So the baby wasn't his. It was Rabastan's," Narcissa whispered.

Cassie's mouth twisted into a grimace.

"What?"

"Look – it wasn't, Cissy," she said in a rush. "Meda cheated on Rabastan. It was an accident – only happened once. But it was enough."

Narcissa staggered. "Who? When?"

"It was that night. When your father left, and Bella ran off – probably to one of those radical groups she's hanging out with – and Rabastan actually wanted Meda to _join them_. That's when she snapped. She left with Cara, remember? She wanted to forget, so badly, and, well, she got drunk. She's – she's still not sure whom she slept with." Cassie winced.

Narcissa wanted to laugh – it was all so ridiculous, extreme, twisted, surreal – and she also wanted to claw at Cassie's face again, to throw things across the room. "You," she snarled. "You and your sister. You knew, all along. You – you helped her do this." She stared straight into Cassie's eyes. "You are _responsible_."

"We tried to stop her," Cassandra breathed. "We didn't want her to leave like that – "

Narcissa closed her eyes. "Go away."

"Cissy..."

" _Go away_ , before I lose it and try to hurt you."

Cassie hesitated, then darted to the door. "Owl me whenever you feel ready to," she said from the threshold. "You'll need a friend, Cissy."

" _LEAVE!_ " She heard the scream as though it had come from someone else's lips.

Cassie obliged. For a minute she remained standing there, alone.

Then she flew from the room, as well.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************

In one second silence was shattered by an indescribable ruckus, as though someone had decided to beat her door down. "Narcissa!" she heard her sister scream, and then there was a bang, a vivid flash of light on the corner of her eyesight, and the door was blasted open. Cissy had been lying on her back on the bed, staring into space. She rolled on her side as Bellatrix lunged towards her.

"Did you see that?" her sister panted, holding up a crumpled piece of parchment. It was the letter she'd found on Andromeda's desk before. She nodded numbly.

Her sister let out a startled shriek. "Why did you let her go?" she roared, seizing Narcissa by the shoulders and shaking her hard. "How _could you? Why_ didn't you hold her _back?_ "

"She was gone when I found it!" Cissy screamed. "Bella, let me go!"

"I left the two of you together!"

"Let me go! You're hurting me!"

Bella pushed her back, sending her tumbling on her bed again, with a mad, desperate fit of laughter, mouth twisted and eyes wild. "Oh, I'm hurting the poor little princess!" she sneered.

"Don't blame me," Narcissa growled, "I'm not the one who told her she was replaceable!"

Lightning-quick, Bellatrix slapped her hard across the face, bringing tears to her eyes – and when she looked up, the moisture in her sibling's dark, merciless eyes mirrored her own.

" _Girls! What is going on?_ " Their mother's appalled voice seemed so out of place that Narcissa couldn't even look at her. Bellatrix turned and tossed the letter at Druella. "This is what's going on, Mother," she spat.

Druella's strangled gasp made them both turn again. The woman was staggering, a hand pressed to her heart. "I must speak to your father," she panted, and rushed out of the room.

"It's too late," Cissy spoke to the shadows on her wall. "Nobody can bring her back."

Bellatrix was silent. "That's impossible," she eventually croaked, "impossible." As she turned towards her little sister, she looked drained of all anger, terrified and lost. _Tell me that it's impossible, Cissy._

Narcissa swallowed, and looked away.

"Father can bring her back," Bella muttered fiercely. "He... he left us, too. But he came back."

Narcissa couldn't bring herself to say no, to say that Andromeda was different, that she was stronger, perhaps, or that she had her whole life before her. She just nodded numbly, not finding the strength to utter a few words. Bella flew out the door, her footsteps echoing in the corridor, farther and farther.

Until silence took over again.

Narcissa pushed herself from her bed, staggering on shaky legs towards the letter discarded on the floor. She picked it up, took it to her desk, smoothed it out slowly, carefully. Then she read it, once. Twice. Three times.

_Bella and Cissy._

_I know this is probably coming as a huge shock. Not that it hadn't been... to be expected, I suppose, for quite a while. But I couldn't imagine leaving myself, so how could the two of you have foreseen it?_

_Anyway, this is not the point. I... I'm going away. Forever. Given the circumstances of my departure, I doubt anyone will try to contact me, as I will be staying with a Mudblood. His name is Ted Tonks. I love him very dearly, and he will take great care of me. He said that he could bring me a good life – or, at least, some warmth and love. I believe him. For the first time, I believe in having a happy future, a future I'll have chosen for myself. This means the world to me._

_Despite everything, I love the two of you with all my heart, and I know that you love me, too. In a way, I guess I could thank you for making it easier for me to leave. I was staying for the two of you, for that part of our family that meant more to me than the name of Black ever could. But now I'm ready to go. My life is, after all, mine and mine alone. I hope that we will see each other again – maybe the word "hope" isn't the best choice here, though. I expect nothing. I know that I will be disowned. But you must know that for me, the three of us will last forever._

_Don't try and bring me back. It'll only make it all more painful. Coming to this decision has been a long and hard process, but now it is set in stone, and I won't back down. Nobody will convince me otherwise. I will never come back. For the first time, I'm going to think of myself, and only myself._

_Take care of yourselves, and of each other. This might be my only regret – not being able to help you both. To save you. I have little right to demand anything of you now, but I will do it anyway. Stop keeping secrets. They destroyed us. They could destroy you._

_I wish you the best._

_Your sister till the end,_

_Andromeda Black._

Tears stained the parchment, until Narcissa crumpled it and tossed it to the ground, hands shaking.

For a while she just stood there, motionless. Then she straightened up, with a slow, deep intake of breath. Walking quietly to the centre of the room, she picked up the letter and lit a fire in the hearth with a flick of her wand. She stepped towards it – slowly, slowly – and dropped the letter into the flames.

Face blank and thoughts empty, Narcissa Black watched as the edges of her world darkened, twisted, and eventually crumpled to ashes.

Her nails digging into her palms, she did not make a sound.


End file.
